I was thinking today about being grateful for anticipation. Sometimes I am and other times I anticipate with dread. But as I step back from the dread moments of it and look at it more closely I realize I am grateful for it in all forms. Anticipation gives me something to look forward to, something to prepare for, something to think about. Anticipation can be delicious and butterflies-in-the-stomach inducing. It can bring relief, solutions, answers, closure. I'm choosing to look at it in a new and broader way.
I've been thinking about it for over a month. Usually, when I'm in it I'm engaged. But this time? I started it indifferent and I've felt indifferent all along. I should have never started. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and they aren't wrong. So when I opened my eyes this morning it was clear. It's time. Time to quit this 365. This is the first 365 that I haven't posted several of the days, the first 365 that I wasn't super excited about, the first 365 that I've quit. I've changed my social media presence and interactions the past year so this is also the first 365 that hardly anyone has been interested in. Is it the topic or my decision to not be as accessible on social media? Or is it some other reason altogether? Well, regardless...I'm throwing in the towel on this one. I can't say if I'll ever do another 365 again. Time will tell and I will know if and when it's time.
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