What is a Healthy Relationship? 10 Truths to Keep Your Relationship Healthy Conscious Choices We Need to Make to Attract Healthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships Signs Of Healthy Friendships

Ever received a communication (email, text, phone call, handwritten note, etc) from someone for no reason at all except they just wanted you to know they were thinking of you?  How did it make you feel?  When I get those "out of the blue" communications from people I feel embraced.  It feels nice that someone somewhere is thinking about me in a nice way - haha!  I'm sure people think about me, I'm not sure it's always in positive ways.  (Just being real people, I am NOT easy to live with.)  A while back I was studying in the book of Philippians and in chapter one, verse three I paused.  It says, "Whenever you cross my mind, I thank my God for you and for the gift of knowing you."  And I got to thinking that my relationships might change, for the better, when I am intentional in reaching out and just saying "hey" when someone crosses my mind. Just to let them know I thought of them, maybe prayed for them, etc.  I know how grateful I feel when ...

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.   Eleanor Roosevelt Eleanor had a lot of wisdom.  Too many times we practice the opposite of what she suggests.  We handle ourselves with our hearts and others with our heads.  I'm so guilty of this.  I forget that really it needs to be the other way around.  With myself I can't handle things with my heart, I must approach it with my head.  Why is that?   Because our hearts deceive us .  I know you want to protest that you have a good heart.  Sure you do.  And sure you don't.  Our hearts have moments of goodness but unless we relinquish the control of our hearts to the One who created it then our hearts get us into trouble.  Our hearts like to pet our egos and tell us we are right and everyone else is wrong.  You know its true because there have been moments in your life when you have carried a behavior out as far as it can go and all...

Your fear of displeasing people puts you in bondage to them, and they become your primary focus....If pleasing people is your goal, you will be enslaved to them.  People can be harsh taskmasters when you give them this power over you.   Sarah Young, Jesus Calling May 2-3 If you fear other people, you are walking into a dangerous trap; but if you trust in the Eternal, you will be safe. The Holy Bible, The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 29 Verse 25, The Voice Version Today's quote(s) are a topic I am very familiar with.  In fact I call myself a recovering people pleaser and if you have known me for a length of time and are familiar with my story then you know my label is pretty accurate.  Once upon a time I was in bondage to people.  I strived to keep peace at any and all costs, usually to myself.  I worked hard to make sure people viewed me favorably.  I never wanted to rock the boat so I owned blame that wasn't mine to own.  All of this people ple...

'The Lord never brings thirsty souls to dry wells to drink.' Be sure to pay attention to the people God puts in your path. Did God bring them to you? Or did God bring you to them?   Pastor Tom Mercer Have you ever thought about the people in your life?  Why they are in your life, their role in your life, your role in their life, the length of the season of relationship, etc.  I'm a root planter by nature.  I dig in, establish roots, and stick.  It's my preferred way to be in relationships but sometimes, I have learned through hard and painful ways, a relationship's roots are shallow and going to get dug up.  Then I go through a season of evaluating the relationship using the prompts I just posed.  Were they in my life because I was their "refreshment" or because they were mine?  I'm learning over time, and with age, that the people that come and go in my life are God ordained for the time they are present.  Sometimes they are for my benefit...

Everyone needs someone they can say ANYTHING to without the fear of rejection. BE that someone. Jamie The Very Worst Missionary Are you that someone?  Do you have that someone?  If you aren't that someone, why?  If you don't have that someone, why? To BE that someone you have to be able to speak truth in love .  You have to be willing to be a safe place.  You have to be willing to listen without trying to fix, without passing judgement, and without condemning. To HAVE that someone you have to be willing to hear truth, even when - or especially when - it stings.  You have to be willing to invite someone into your life that you know won't back down from your crappy moods and defensiveness.  You have to be willing to talk and be vulnerable. We need safety in our lives and we need people who will stand up and be that safe place for us and we need to be that safe place for others.  

You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.   Trenton Lee Stewart I'm really blessed and I hope *you* are too.  I've got a great family and I've got great friends.  I've got framily.  I've got people in my life that aren't related to me by blood but by heart.  I've got people in my life who became family through shared experiences that served to knit our hearts together.  I've got family that I also call friend.  My life is richer for the framily I have.  I hope the same is true for *you*.   Do you have family?  Friends?  Framily?   Some, but certainly not all , of my framily.  <3  SO BLESSED!

You can’t become fully human and avoid gender, sexuality, money, politics, orientation, ecology, history, literature, economics, philosophy, etc. You cannot be a disciple of Jesus and protect pieces of your soul from his touch.   Jonalyn Fincher If you call yourself a follower of God, a disciple of Jesus, then you must allow yourself to observe all that this broken world has.  Jesus allowed himself to be confronted with the hard things of the time so that he could speak truth into those things.  As his disciples that is what he asks us to do as well.  To observe hard things doesn't mean we agree with them.  Jesus observed hard things and then spoke truth into them.  He didn't shrink back from hard things, he didn't protect his soul from the things and people that kept him from being fully human.  (Remember he was fully God but fully human as well.)  If we want to be called and known as  disciples  of Jesus then we have to be willing to...

Satan seeks a gap called a grudge.   John Piper Last weekend I talked with the kids in my community about grudges.  In the lives of believers the enemy of our Creator, and therefore us, uses grudges to create divisions, gaps, unforgivenesss, rifts, jealousy, anger, bitterness, etc.  Wherever the enemy of our souls thinks he can wiggle in he will.  Wherever he thinks he can become an obstacle to right behavior,   healthy relationships,  and  God honoring lives he will.  He seeks weakness in us and takes advantage of it.  And we play into his hands when we allow the grudge that has been birthed to be fed, to grow, to masquerade as truth.  If he finds the gap in your life he will push it wider apart unless you are tuned in to his ways.  Don't allow grudges to be birthed in your life.  Don't allow them to be fed and grow and take over your demeanor and behaviors.  Once you are aware of a grudge in your life take care of...

If you expect to make it last with God you better get friends that edify your faith instead of justify your faults. Royal Tailor Our relationship with God is intimately weaved in with our relationships with others.  Who we choose to spend time with and allow to be an influencing voice in our life will shape our relationship with God, whether we want it to or not.  Oh we'd love to be strong enough in character to be able to spend all of our time in circles where they help us justify our bad behaviors, etc but we stand strong in our faith.  But it just ain't so.  Eventually we allow their justifications to become truth in our lives.  And then we are deceived to who we have become. But if we purpose to spend time with people who will speak truth to us, regardless of its initial sting, because they love us and care about us then we are more likely to stand strong in our faith.  If we purpose to surround ourselves with people who won't let us off the hook on o...

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.   J.K. Rowling At least with dislike we are feeling something.  When we are indifferent and neglectful that usually means we have fallen into numbness, i.e. we no longer care.  And complacency does much more damage than feeling something.  Complacency leads to lying, neglect (which causes a lot of damage - just look at the homes of hoarders where they have neglected the upkeep), isolation, unwillingness to engage in life, delusion, etc.  Those are all damaging.  But when we are honest about what we are feeling (i.e. "I dislike that person") we are at least allowing feelings to have their voice.  That's the other thing indifference and neglect do, they shut up the voices of feelings.  And shutting up our feelings always leads to great damage.  So dislike if you must but don't become indifferent and neglectful because the damage will be so much greater.  

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.   Jess C. Scott Is the way you say the names of the people you say you love sweet or sour in your mouth?  Be honest.  When you say their name do they feel safe in your care for them?  Even in disappointment, anger, etc is the way you speak their name sweet or sour?  Does the love you have for others overpower those times when you are disappointed, angry, etc?  If it does their names will be as sweet as honey in your mouth.  If the love is not as strong then their names will leave a pucker in your mouth and they will feel unsafe in your presence.  Think about it.  

You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.   C. JoyBell C. I really hope you have relationships that are like today's quote.  We all have those relationships that we talk to people every single day but hopefully we all have those relationships where we don't have to talk to someone everyday but our hearts are knit together.  Have you ever met someone that your heart is instantly connected to without much conversation?  I hope you have.  Conversation is sometimes not necessary when hearts connect without words.  I have those relationships and I  treasure  them and they enrich my life.  I hope you have connections that enrich your heart and life.  

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences.   Unknown The older I have gotten and the more life experience I have gained the more today's quote has been learned.  I'm beginning to learn that I don't need to feel or be threatened by people in my life who aren't exactly like me; whether that be in hobbies, beliefs, behaviors, work ethic, politics, parenting styles, etc.  It's easy to appreciate the similarities I share with others, it's a lot harder to respect differences.  I think it is harder to respect differences in each other because our culture doesn't encourage that.  While our culture says it promotes diversity and tolerance it acts completely opposite.  In fact, differences in the above things I mentioned often create division and derision.  Respect is not encouraged.  I don't know about *you* but I think that needs to change.  Regardless of what our culture...

People were created to be loved.  Things were created to be used.  The reason the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.   Unknown Today's quote is put really well.  Whoever "unknown" is they said it perfectly.  When we put things (jobs, financial gain, big people toys, electronics, success, etc etc) ahead of people and use those people to get those things then we have thrown our world and the worlds of others into disarray.  No thing should be loved more than a person.  Things won't love you back, they won't fulfill you long-term, they won't give you what you are looking for - only people can assist in those pursuits.  I say assist because I have personally experienced that only God can truly love you, fulfill you, and give you what you are looking for but he will ask people to participate in your life to accomplish those.  :)  But I digress... How does this topic look in y...

Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.   Alan Cohen I adore today's quote.  I am challenged by today's quote.  Today's quote starts my Rolodex of names, searching for the ones who love me in the ways today's quote describes and reminding me of who I love in this way.  In our humanness love is a tricky thing because we place conditions on it.   We place external and internal conditions on our love for others, we base it on performance, we define it according to our baggage.  Love in our humanness is a tricky, tricky thing.  And oftentimes we equate love and worth/value.  So if we are having a hard time loving someone then we also are probably having a hard time treating them with worth.   Back t...

...when we love God, we naturally run to Him-frequently and zealously. Jesus didn't command that we have a regular time with Him each day. Rather, He tells us to 'love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' He called this the 'first and greatest commandment' (Matt. 22:37-38). The results are intimate prayer and study of His Word. Our motivation changes from guilt to love.   Francis Chan *Disclaimer: My thoughts on today's quote are lengthy but that means they are important to me! * I've been a believer of God for a really long time.  And most of that time I was told and taught to make sure I had my "daily quiet time" or else I just wasn't cutting it with God and perhaps I wasn't close to God at all.  This is a widely taught and accepted mindset.  Problem is that isn't exactly biblical but Pastors, Churches, and Sunday School teachers all over the place have tried to make it biblical.  W...

As far as I can tell the only way to fall from grace is to trip over religion.   Gwen Tennant-Ketchum My friend Gwen nails it in today's quote.  And I resonate with it because religion is the very thing that is what trips me up in grace.  When I find myself struggling to extend grace, receive grace, be grace I can usually look no further than religion.  Religion forgets relationships, it forgets flexibility, it forgets that sometimes *it* isn't black and white but gray.  Religion acts better than others, "high and mighty", and as judge and jury.  So when I find myself tripping up on grace I know that somehow religion has gotten in my way.   The Pharisees in the Bible are role models for religion tripping up grace.  They clashed with Jesus all the time over issues of grace.  It's unfortunate that I can relate to them a little too well.  Hang around me long enough and you'll hear me call myself a "recovering pharisee".  I say "rec...

Some people seem bent on misinterpreting everything everyone else says, ever. Pay them no mind and carry on. Audrey Assad Right?!  Have you ever encountered someone who does this?  ('Fess up if you recognize that you are the one who does this...)  It's so frustrating and it blocks relationship from happening.  If you know that someone you need to converse with has this particular bad habit just take a deep breath, say what you need to, and don't allow their misinterpretation to interfere with what you need to say.  Like today's quote says, pay them no mind and move on.   What is at the root of a person who misinterprets everything?  It could be several things.  It could be insecurity, arrogance,  a pessimistic outlook on life, or maybe it has been modeled for them by a parent/grandparent/mentor.   How do you have a relationship with someone who does this?  I believe authentic relationship ...