To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. Eleanor Roosevelt
Eleanor had a lot of wisdom. Too many times we practice the opposite of what she suggests. We handle ourselves with our hearts and others with our heads. I'm so guilty of this. I forget that really it needs to be the other way around. With myself I can't handle things with my heart, I must approach it with my head. Why is that? Because our hearts deceive us. I know you want to protest that you have a good heart. Sure you do. And sure you don't. Our hearts have moments of goodness but unless we relinquish the control of our hearts to the One who created it then our hearts get us into trouble. Our hearts like to pet our egos and tell us we are right and everyone else is wrong. You know its true because there have been moments in your life when you have carried a behavior out as far as it can go and all the while your heart was burning. It wasn't burning with conviction that you were right, it was burning with conviction of how wrong you were but your heart kept petting your ego so you carried it out and then there was fallout. Right? Right.
And then we handle others with our heads and that gets us in equal amounts of trouble! Why is that? Because our heads are unable to give people the benefit of the doubt. Think about it. This is where a lot of fallout comes from. We don't give people the benefit of the doubt, we pronounce them guilty before they even have a chance to prove otherwise, we attribute to them characteristics that may not be accurate, we assign them a personality trait based on one bad day they had when they made a mistake, etc. Our heads can't find the way to give them the benefit of the doubt while our hearts are willing to see beyond and give some grace. This unwillingness to handle people with our hearts causes a lot of misunderstandings, division in relationships, tension in homes and workplaces and communities, character assassinations. It hurts my heart and remember I participate more often than I would like to.
The heart and the head work in tandem to create a dual problem for us when we are engaging in relationship. Our heads can't give the benefit of the doubt to others because our heart is convincing us we are right and they are all wrong. Our hearts are protective of us but if we could begin to allow our hearts to be protective of others we find freedom from the deception our hearts feed our egos. If we can find a way to switch our mode of operation and treat ourselves and others as Roosevelt has suggested in today's quote then we may see a turnaround. We may see a lot more handling with care happening.
Eleanor had a lot of wisdom. Too many times we practice the opposite of what she suggests. We handle ourselves with our hearts and others with our heads. I'm so guilty of this. I forget that really it needs to be the other way around. With myself I can't handle things with my heart, I must approach it with my head. Why is that? Because our hearts deceive us. I know you want to protest that you have a good heart. Sure you do. And sure you don't. Our hearts have moments of goodness but unless we relinquish the control of our hearts to the One who created it then our hearts get us into trouble. Our hearts like to pet our egos and tell us we are right and everyone else is wrong. You know its true because there have been moments in your life when you have carried a behavior out as far as it can go and all the while your heart was burning. It wasn't burning with conviction that you were right, it was burning with conviction of how wrong you were but your heart kept petting your ego so you carried it out and then there was fallout. Right? Right.
And then we handle others with our heads and that gets us in equal amounts of trouble! Why is that? Because our heads are unable to give people the benefit of the doubt. Think about it. This is where a lot of fallout comes from. We don't give people the benefit of the doubt, we pronounce them guilty before they even have a chance to prove otherwise, we attribute to them characteristics that may not be accurate, we assign them a personality trait based on one bad day they had when they made a mistake, etc. Our heads can't find the way to give them the benefit of the doubt while our hearts are willing to see beyond and give some grace. This unwillingness to handle people with our hearts causes a lot of misunderstandings, division in relationships, tension in homes and workplaces and communities, character assassinations. It hurts my heart and remember I participate more often than I would like to.
The heart and the head work in tandem to create a dual problem for us when we are engaging in relationship. Our heads can't give the benefit of the doubt to others because our heart is convincing us we are right and they are all wrong. Our hearts are protective of us but if we could begin to allow our hearts to be protective of others we find freedom from the deception our hearts feed our egos. If we can find a way to switch our mode of operation and treat ourselves and others as Roosevelt has suggested in today's quote then we may see a turnaround. We may see a lot more handling with care happening.
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