5 Ways Your Worst Experience Could Bring Out the Best in You The Advantages of Challenges

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.   Eleanor Roosevelt Eleanor had a lot of wisdom.  Too many times we practice the opposite of what she suggests.  We handle ourselves with our hearts and others with our heads.  I'm so guilty of this.  I forget that really it needs to be the other way around.  With myself I can't handle things with my heart, I must approach it with my head.  Why is that?   Because our hearts deceive us .  I know you want to protest that you have a good heart.  Sure you do.  And sure you don't.  Our hearts have moments of goodness but unless we relinquish the control of our hearts to the One who created it then our hearts get us into trouble.  Our hearts like to pet our egos and tell us we are right and everyone else is wrong.  You know its true because there have been moments in your life when you have carried a behavior out as far as it can go and all...

Would you like you, if you met you.  Tegan and Sara Be honest with yourself.  Don't be portray false modesty and don't be arrogant.  Be honest with yourself - would you like you if you met you?  Be willing to see your positive traits and be willing to acknowledge your flaws.  What isn't positive about yourself work on to turn it around.  Don't use the lame excuse, "Well that's just the way I am so take me or leave me" because you are going to get left and if you were honest with yourself you'd leave yourself if you could.  C'mon, you know - deep down - who you are.  So would you like you if you met you?

The unexamined life is not worth living.  Socrates I understand.  It's hard to see the flaws in yourself.  It's hard to have someone else point them out to you.  I get it.  It's hard to realize that you aren't all that and a bag of chips and maybe, just maybe, you aren't as superior to others as you secretly think.  (After all, you would never actually say that you think that out loud!)  It's hard to hear someone point out something that you do or say and realize they are right and you kinda suck at the moment.  It's hard to recognize that maybe you don't really see yourself in true light and others can.  In the past couple of months I've run across some people who don't want to examine themselves.  They would rather live in their self-deception of who they are than to take what someone shares with them and do some introspection.  I feel badly for them, once I get over being totally pissed off at them that is.  Soc...

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.   Maya Angelou The butterfly only becomes beautiful in the confines of a cocoon.  We tend to forget that.  We tend to forget that it was wrapped up and underwent a metamorphosis that ushered in its beauty.  But it's the only way. And so it is with us.  Within the confines of painful and altering situations we undergo a metamorphosis that ushers in our own beauty (yes even you men!).  But just like with the butterfly we tend to forget that.  We forget that it is through the refining process that we become beautiful in character.  It is in that cocoon-type process that we shed the things that hold us back from being free to fly.  Tough things have a way of removing whatever is in the way of our freedom to be who we are. What would happen if caterpillars refused to enter their cocoon?  We would have no butterflies. ...

Let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.   Theodore Roosevelt There's a huge difference between wearing out and rusting out.  One means you worked hard and did your job for as long as possible.  The other means you sat around, allowed yourself to become neglected, exposed yourself to the weather of life and  became  unusable.  Roosevelt makes a good point in today's quote.  Wouldn't you rather wear out than rust out?  Wouldn't you rather be known at the end of your life for being someone who worked hard and with integrity than someone who skated by and became unusable?  Because when you become rusted from neglect you also lose people's respect and become known as a person who doesn't have integrity in their work life.  Wouldn't you rather wear out than rust out?  I know I would.

When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My [God] hand tightly and look for growth opportunities.  Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I [God] lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom.  Say yes to the ways I [God] work in your life.  Trust me and don't be afraid.   Sarah Young, Jesus Calling - April 15 Well if today's quote for the day doesn't fit my life recently I'm not sure what does.  I think the second sentence is the one that really gets me.   "Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new."  Yep.  That's pretty much where I'm at.   It's been hard to leave the comfort of Young Life and the work I do there.  And I've been trying not to bemoan it but I have been.  It's been hard to gather up the energy to leave the comfortable and allow myself to be challenged.  But you know what?  If I...

When you find yourself locked in the bathroom, sobbing on the floor because you've just had enough, that does not mean you have failed as a mother.  Being a mother is hard.  That is not failure. That is fact.  Remind yourself of that.   Unknown Can I get a witness?  If you are a Mom you may have found yourself in a similar position at some point.  I know I have.  Usually I'm not curled up on the bathroom floor (I have issues with that) but usually I am curled up figuratively and I am sobbing at the most inopportune times.  Like in front of people, while driving, in the shower (the best place as far as I'm concerned), in the middle of a sentence, etc.  You get the picture and maybe you have your own inopportune time story. Sometimes the fear I get from parenting in today's world threatens to completely overtake me.  It's tough and I'm not sure I have the energy for it.  Scratch that.  I'm not sure I have the confid...

Think very carefully about your choices.  You have planted a large crop, but your harvest is small. You have food to eat, but it is never enough to satisfy. You have something to drink, but you are never filled. You have clothes to wear, but they are not enough to keep you warm. You earn a salary, but the money runs out quickly, as if there are holes in your pocket .  Haggai 1:5-6, The Voice I've been chewing on today's quote for a couple of days.  I can't quite find my way to what is teasing my brain about it so I thought, why not?  I'll just put it out there and see if whatever is teasing me comes out through the keyboard.  :) I feel like initially what struck me about today's quote is that a lot of busy work is described here but not much productivity.  (And look for that quote at some point in the near future because I've got one sitting in my queue.)  So a large crop is planted but the harvest is small.  That tells me that a lot of bu...

You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.   Azar Nafisi  I think today's quote sums up perfectly how I feel about leaving certain places at certain times.  I can think of a few times that I have left a place and not had the strange feeling but instead a relief!  But generally I feel strange and sad when I leave a place I love.  It happened when I went to Kenya and had to leave Kenya.  It has happened again with my departure from Young Life. 2.5 years ago I came to Young Life on the heels of a deep depression and a time of working from home.  I came to Young Life not knowing that it would become an important part of my life in so many ways and would aid in the settling into my skin that my 30's have been all about.  So now that I am leaving I feel strange ...

You can fool yourself, you know. You'd think it's impossible, but it turns out it's the easiest thing of all.   Jodi Picoult Ah self-deception.  We are good at it aren't we?  We allow ourselves to fool ourselves! We choose to be blinded to things that we need to improve on or be healed from.  We choose to muffle our hearing to the things that others see in us that could be, should be, changed.  We choose to raise walls and build fortresses around ourselves so that others are blocked from speaking truth into our lives.  We let sinful pride be our mode of operation when someone raises a concern or presents a valid criticism.  And in our self-deception the one we hurt the very most is ourselves.  We delay our character development (You never quit developing character btw, it is a lifelong process.  You have not arrived much as you might like to think so.) and any healing we need to experience when we allow ourselves to be fooled into thinking...

If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. Bruce Lee Why do we limit  ourselves?  Whether consciously or unconsciously when we place limits on what we can or will do we place a burden on ourselves and on others.  If I place a limit on what I will do then I have increased someone's workload.  I'm not talking about those things that I literally cannot do or am not trained to do - like fly a plane.  Trust me, you want me to limit myself on that!  I'm talking about those everyday kind of tasks that just need someone to do them and  if I am not willing out of selfishness, poor work ethic, etc then I have increased someone else's workload.  (Yes this does kind of take us back to my thoughts on work ethic last week, doesn't it?)  If I place a limit on what I think I ca...

We do not have to become heroes overnight.  Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up...discovering we have the strength to stare it down.   Eleanor Roosevelt What's a hero?  Anyone who has the courage and fortitude to stare at what is seeking to intimidate and looking it up and down and then tackling it.  It doesn't matter what the thing is because a hero is one who conquers.  Do not feel the pressure to conquer overnight, it will take time.  The best heroes are ones who allow the process to happen and allow complete victory.  Rush it and you'll miss important steps.  Rush it and you'll think you don't have what it takes to take it down.  But you do, you have what it takes.  And I do, I have what it takes.  Let us become heroes because we are conquering those things and people in our lives that seek to intimidate.

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else.   John Borrough The evidence of a strong character is accepting and owning your failures, the consequences of them, and the lessons of them.  In every failure there is something to be learned and if you try to place the blame for your failures on others then you are missing out on important life experiences.  Own up and quit blame shifting!  It's so unattractive to shift blame to others.  Newsflash: If you think appearing perfect and without blame makes you appealing your thinking is faulty.  *We* all know you aren't perfect, make mistakes, and can't accept personal responsibility for your mistakes so *we* all don't find you so attractive after all.  However, if you would accept personal responsibility for your failures (which that is what mistakes are) then *we* might soften toward you.  You only fail when you blame...

Deep experience is never peaceful.   Henry James  Boy howdy isn't this the truth!  When we go through experiences that take us deep there is always some upheaval that comes along with it.  Why is that?  Because in order to grow and learn from the experience we must rid ourselves of toxic things and people and that is never a calm process, it always involves some sort of tearing, removing, refining, grief.  Always.  But embrace it all.  Embrace the process deep experiences take you through.  Embrace the reality that on the other side there will be lessons that have been learned and growth that has occurred.  Go ahead and grieve if you need to but embrace even that, knowing that the upheaval of the deep experience is leading you to healthier relationships, a healthier perspective on yourself, a healthier view of future situations that are sure to come up, etc.   In the ocean the deep waters may be calm but in our souls going...

Motivation: Doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done when we want to do it.  Discipline: Doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done when we don't want to do it.   Bobbi Deporter (I think!) Today's quote makes a lot of sense to me.  When it comes right down to it, it doesn't matter if I am motivated, it matters if I am disciplined.  The most common example is exercise but I can think of all sorts of other things this applies to.  Cleaning house, grocery shopping *grin*, parenting (seriously!  think about it...), writing (that's a super specific example for me), conflict resolution, relationships (again, that may be a bit more specific to me), etc. What builds character?  Being driven by discipline not necessarily motivation.  Now, motivation can turn into discipline.  It has its part to play but if the motivation never transforms into discipline then you just stay stuck at wanting but never doing.  Oh sheesh. ...

Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.   H. Jackson Brown, Jr.  I think we might all have that "thing".  The thing you know you are meant to do, the thing you know you are created to do, the thing that you know if you did it other people would benefit, the thing that brings honor to your Creator.  But the world and this life do all they can to keep us from doing that thing.  We get thrown insecurity, jealousy, fear, doubt, criticism, circumstances that delay, etc and those things thrown at us put in a position of defeat.  Don't let the defeat win!  Don't let what seems to be actually be.  Dig deep and honor what your heart is telling you to do.  Oh sure, it will probably take you longer to get to it than you want but part of that time you are learning and growing and will be able to use that time to enhance the "thing", whatever it is.  Don't despise the time and the obstacles you...

Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is fat worse than vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, evil, or cruel?  Not to me.   J.K. Rowling Rowling asks the best question.  I've actually been thinking about this lately.  We look at someone and immediately assign value to them based on their appearance.  And the sad reality is that we look at overweight people, specifically, and we pass judgment on them.  We, out loud or quietly, degrade them by assuming they are lazy, undisciplined, lacking self-control, etc.  If watching Biggest Loser has taught me anything it has taught me that overweight people are overweight for a reason and it isn't laziness, lack of discipline (at the core of the issue), etc.  And it has proved that overweight people are kind and generous and most importantly have value and worth.  I'd rather be friends with someone overweight but amazing than friends with someone who fits the mold of our culture but ...

Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength.   Betty Friedan   I love getting older. Oh don't get me wrong, the physical ailments of aging aren't much fun but even those can be relieved with exercise and other things.  What I love about getting older is exactly what Friedan points out in today's quote, aging provides us opportunity to grow in character, to gain more life experience, to apply what we've already lived through to our days and to our interactions with other people.  We don't lose when we age but we gain!  If I think back to even 5 years ago I wouldn't want to return to that time.  I love what I've learned and grown in in those years.  And you couldn't pay me enough money to go back in time and be a high schooler again!  The only way I would consider going back is if I could take with me the wisdom I've gained over the years.  Aging has provided me, and hopefully you, the opportunity to grow in wisdom a...

Don't be so easily defined.   Unknown I've been talking with my redheads lately about this very topic of today's quote.  When we are easily defined then we are not unique.  And each of us has the potential for unique.  If we are easily defined then that can mean that we have allowed the norm to mold us instead of us making our own norm.  I think back to my middle school and high school days where the pressure to be defined by a group - jocks, nerds, popular, etc - was strong.  If you fit into the group and could be defined by the characteristics of the group then you were "in".  But were you really?  By being "in" you are giving up, or away, the things about you that make you unique.  You become easily defined instead of creating the definition.  As I'm encouraging my girls in this teenage season of life I will encourage you also, don't allow the definitions that are out there become you - go out and be your ow...