Why is Peter Pan always flying?  He neverlands! (This joke never gets old.) Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"  The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!" Everyone asks where's Waldo…  Nobody asks how's Waldo. What's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?  One you'll see in a while and the other you'll see later! Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?  Because they would steal all the boos! What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi?  People from Dubai don't like the Flintstones and people from Abu Dhabi Doo! Who invented the round table?  Sir Cumference! What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?  Attire! What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?  HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE Wh...

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?  If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment. What did the fisherman say to the card magician?  Pick a cod, any cod! What's stucco?  What happens when you step in bubblegummo. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. What's the Internet's favorite animal?  The lynx. In 1957, several cities were vying to host the 1964 Winter Olympics. Candidates had been eliminated to the point where the only two left were Singapore and Nevers, France. The French venue had an obvious advantage for the games, but the Singaporeans were eager to host the games in their country, so they developed a snow-making machine. Because of technical glitches, the machine produced snow only part of the time. The rest of the time it produced steam, and you can't ski on s...

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever Told... Don't Act Like You're Not Impressed   (source) Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car." Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. An invisible man marries an...

Knock, knock Who's there? Worst Worst who? Worst Joke Wednesday! 40 Ridiculous ‘Knock Knock’ Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand (source) 1. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, a cow says mooooo! 2. Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? All this time, I had no idea you could yodel. 3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No I’m not! 4. Knock knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you, friend. 5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you, now hand over the cash. 6. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I’ll have some peanuts. 7. Knock knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later. 8. Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome. 9. Knock knock. Who’s there? I smell mop. I smell mop who? Ew. 10. Knock knock. Who’s there? I ea...