(For Saturday July 19) Early this morning I met one of my besties for coffee. It was a big deal because this particular bestie lives approximately 7800 miles away from me. As you can imagine face time is rare. :) She lives in Abu Dhabi and I live in Colorado.  Heart to hearts are hard to have - even with Skype.  And when you have that kind of physical distance between two connected hearts relationship is hard. So this morning we squeezed each other, held hands, looked in each other's eyes, heard each other's voices with no delays, and remembered why God chose to connect our hearts. I am so grateful for the heart to heart with her today and the ones God allows in my life at other times with other people.  They always serve to remind me of our mutual love and affection for one another, of our common ground, of our soul desires that match up, etc.

Don't mix bad words with your bad mood.  You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke.   Unknown The sign of a mature person is one who speaks carefully, even in, or especially in, bad mood (anger, frustration, disappointment, hormone fluctuations, etc).   We have a choice about our words and our moods.  And depending on our choice we will either have regret or a clear conscience.  I don't know about you but I would rather have a clear conscience than regret.  Some days I succeed at this and other days not so much.  How about you?

You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.   Khalil Gibran Think about it... right?   When I'm unsettled about something, processing something, trying to work something out I talk - in my head, to myself, out loud to others, out loud to myself *grin*, or I engage in any number of other forms of "talking" that exist. All the chattering indicates a lack of peace about *it*, a lack of resolution/solution/conclusion, an unease.  I do quit talking about *it* when I have come to a place of peace, acceptance, resolution/solution/conclusion.   What about you ?  Do you find today's quote to be accurate in your own life?    

To swear is neither brave, polite, nor wise. Alexander Pope   Adding to today's quote I would also say that to swear shows a lack of imagination.  I've been thinking about swearing a lot lately.  It's in movies, books, the mouths of children and their parents, even TV.  And that's just a few places it's heard.  Really?  It's the best *we* can come up with?  Pope was right, to swear is not using wisdom, bravery, nor being polite.  It shows a  distinct  lack of class.  It ends up usually being degrading to others and vulgar in its intentions. Now I've said a word or two in my days.  And sometimes I think the word.  I rarely speak it out loud.  Because I'm better than other people?  No.  Why then?  Because I have a filter and I choose to engage it.  I choose to think carefully about how I want other people to know me and think of me.  Sometimes I slip.  And when I do I immediately feel b...

We talk glibly about forgiving when we have never been injured; when we are injured we know that it is not possible, apart from God's grace, for one human being to forgive another.   Oswald Chambers  It's easy to say to someone, "You just need to forgive" when their situation doesn't affect you personally or you can't relate to it.  But then.  But then when it happens to you all of a sudden it's not so easy to say, "I forgive" or to hear someone tell you "You just need to forgive."  And perhaps all of a sudden you realize that every time you have said it before in a glib manner it probably sounded insincere and without compassion.  As Chambers points out in today's quote it is easy to tell others to forgive when we haven't been been injured.  And then it happens to us.  Because the reality is that it isn't an "if" it's a "when".  We will all be injured in some way in our life that will require forg...

Reasoned & civil passion in discussion of a hot-button issue requires great virtue. Shouting & vitriol are not indicative of self-control.   Audrey Assad Today's quote addresses the problem we have in our world today with differences of opinion.  We have lost our ability to be reasoned and civil in our debates.  We resort to shouting, derision, impatience, and a whole host of other bad behaviors.  Many who lose self-control have attempted to justify their word choices and behavior with things they believe indicate they have a "right" to be jerks.  Shouting, derision, impatience, and all the other bad behaviors are not indicative of self-control, strength, power, education, wisdom, being "right", etc.  All it usually ends up indicating is that the person behaving so poorly is a jerk.  Mature people can practice self-control, are open to seeing other viewpoints, can concede when the ir point might not be "right", and can make their points wit...

You don't have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground.  If you do, that shows how shaky your own position is.   Red Haircrow I have a real issue with people who assert their opinions about all manner of topics with disrespect, derision, patronizing, and foul language.  To use words that are laced with those characteristics is to send the message that you aren't totally secure in what you are saying you believe.  Haircrow has  absolutely  nailed it with today's quote.  In fact, even though I went "on and on" about how wonderful and vital words are yesterday, the best way to hold our ground on our opinions is to - wait for it - say not much at all.  *GASP*  Why not just live out what you believe about XYZ?  And when you do feel a need to talk about it why resort to using disrespectful tones and language?  I just don't see the need.  We are adults, let's act like ones!  And to get back to the point ...

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts.   Jose Saramago Words are powerful.  We can and we do (at times) use them to heal and encourage.  We can and do (at times) wield them like weapons, our intent to harm or to protect.  But make no mistake, we use words to convey every emotion we experience, every opinion we have, everything we have learned.  Even those who cannot speak audibly use words to  communicate  the same things, they just do it with their hands or their eyes (ALS, etc).  Without words to  express ourselves and let others know what we are thinking we would be lost.  Words help us get to the heart of the matter.  They are the most overused and the most underused.  We overuse them when we should be a little more quiet and we under use them when we don't speak up and let assumptions start to dictate our emotions, etc.  It's a fine line to walk when using words.  Some of us, ahem *grin*,...

Silence is more eloquent than words.   Thomas Carlyle It would be a mistake to not acknowledge the tragedy that has befallen our nation in the past 24 hours.  Unspeakable evil has occurred and precious lives, young and older, have been taken.  Put into motion is a grief that will last years for the families directly involved and impacted.  Put into motion is a fear that has settled into the minds and hearts of those who witnessed this atrocious act.  A community has been shaken by a devastating event and nothing will ever really be the same.  I would venture to say every parent is heartbroken and every human touched by this unspeakable evil. The responses of those who aren't directly impacted but yet touched have been interesting.  Many have taken up their own personal battle cry for their particular views on gun control and God.  Those are the two topics getting the most talk from this tragedy.  I have allowed *you* y...

Be curious, not judgmental.   Walt Whitman {sigh} It seems to me the majority of the human race can't follow today's advice from Whitman. *  Oh that we could...or rather that we would.  What would be different if we simply debated from a place of curiosity rather than judgment and trying to "one up" the other person?  What would be different if we didn't pass judgment on differing opinions but simply satisfied our curiosity about them?  What would be different if we interacted with people different than us, and I'm not just talking about cultural differences and socioeconomic differences, from a place of curiosity not judgment?  What would be different if we didn't allow our satisfied curiosity to lead to judgment but we just let it be?  What would be different if we didn't have a driving need to prove our opinion right and the "other side" wrong?  What would be different if we respected the ot...

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.   Ralph Waldo Emerson People, actions do speak louder than words.  They mean more too.  Words can be empty and meaningless when action does not prove them true.  Telling someone you love them but physically and/or verbally punching them doesn't really match up does it?  Do *you* really think they are going to believe your empty sentiment?   We are just making a bunch of noise with our words if actions don't come behind them to prove them .  Our actions do most of our speaking for us.  You may not like it but it's true.  Our words should be what reinforces our actions because our actions carry more volume in our lives.  Talk all you want but just make sure your words will be proven true with your actions, for that is what people are actually listening to and hearing.

Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.   Unknown Ever have something come out of your mouth and the minute it's out there you get a horrible taste?  I'm focusing on the negative part of today's quote because when we speak pleasant words we don't ever notice the taste left behind, it's only when we speak in complaining, negative, angry, self-focused, unpleasant ways that we get the bad taste.  You've heard the old adage  "Think before you speak."  Turns out that bit of wisdom is spot on.  Before you open your mouth and let fly out whatever you might want to say do this: STOP.  Stop for a moment and let those words sit in your mouth and taste them and decide if they really need to be said or if they could be said in a more palatable way.  People who have never employed this kind of self-discipline with their words have developed halitosis of speech.  They speak such unappealing things the majority of the time tha...

Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.  Unknown Ouch.  Ever since I first read this quote a few months back it keeps haunting me.  Not that I don't know the truth behind it already but the way it is phrased keeps pinging me. I think a lot of times we all speak something about someone and without realizing it we are judging them.  I know I am guilty of this.  It usually hits me about midnight or 2 am, when I'm in a dead sleep.  My eyes pop open and I inwardly groan at the judgement I had passed on someone earlier in the day.  I swear my conscience does this running review all night long while I'm asleep and can't defend or rather justify myself! Where I get stuck is when it is true about the person! No seriously.  There are some people out there that are idiots, for one reason or another.  Or they are jerks, for one reason or another.  Or they are fill in the blank , for one reason or another.  I...

Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.   Unknown Be quiet.  :)  Recognize when you don't need to speak and it's a lot more often than you might realize.  You really don't need to defend every thought, argument, action, belief, platform, etc.  Really you don't.  We don't know how to be quiet.  And it gets us in trouble more than we'd like.  Just be quiet.  Lose your need to defend, be right, etc.  Swallow your words and  acknowledge  that it's okay to have a different point of view than others.  If you stay quiet you'll save yourself a lot of  unnecessary  conversations and free yourself up to have ones that matter.  

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.   Mark Twain The thing about telling a lie is you have to remember what you've said so that you can keep up the lie and not get caught in it!  So Twain gives a piece of very practical advice, a memory tip.  Tell the truth.  Simple as that.  Tell the truth and you don't have to remember what you said.  Would you rather get caught in a lie or caught in the truth?  :)

You never really truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.   Attributed to Albert Einstein Ha, I love this quote.  I love it because it is so true.  We over complicate things and then when we are forced to explain them to someone who doesn't have a lot of exposure to the thing we are forced ourselves to slow down, listen to what we are saying, and more often than not I find I gain a clearer way of doing or looking at the thing.  Sometimes even a better way of doing a task emerges from me trying to explain it to someone else.   I've had to explain several things to my grandparents (taking today's quote literally) and can you imagine how silly and even stupid Facebook (for example) sounds when trying to explain it to them? :) It's hysterical to me.  They just seem confused.  And they are right to be confused.  In the example of Facebook - since when is virtual connection better and more fulfilling than face to f...

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you no one would believe it. Unknown Ever been in a conversation and between you and whomever else is speaking there's a lot of nodding and agreement over the words/behavior/attitude of someone that has been mentioned?  Usually it's negative*, at least in the scenario I just kind of described.  And that's a shame. What you really want is for someone to accuse "you" of something negative - a word/behavior/attitude - and the other person to be like, "No way!  That is not typical or like fill in the blank with "your" name  at all."  That's the desired response right there.  Now we all have bad and off days so all of us have behaved badly at some point but if we are known for consistently being negative, grouchy, angry, grumbly, etc then there's a problem.  (Yes I am so talking to myself right now!) How are you living your days?  Is the lemonade you are making sweet or so...

Make it your habit not to be critical about small things.   Edward Everett Hale Definition of Critic: 1     a   :   one who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique b   :  one who engages often professionally in the analysis, evaluation, or appreciation of works of art or artistic performances 2 :  one given to harsh or captious judgment It is often the small, unimportant things in which we choose to be critical about.  And by critical I mean according to definition 2.  We very rarely use reasoned opinion when it comes to picking on and out the small annoyances that others display and we feel the need to be verbal about.  While we do also criticize big things it seems to be the small things that we just can't let go.  We've got to learn to pick our battles and friends I have news, the battle is self-contained i...

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust. Proverbs 4:23-27 (MSG) Easier said than done, right?  Especially when you have to interact with other people on a daily basis!  This portion of Proverbs popped up for me and some co-workers at a time a few months back when things happening in our organization felt like a "sideshow distraction" or easily could have become one.  In addition when unsettling things happen, no matter where you are at, the mouths start running and without meaning to you find yourself sucked into talking out of both sides of your mouth.  I am way way guilty of this.  I start off great but the sideshow distracts me from what I know is ri...

Before you speak, THINK : T - is it true? H - is it helpful? I - is it inspiring? N - is it necessary? K - is it kind? Enough said, don't you t.h.i.n.k?  :)