Pick your battles

Make it your habit not to be critical about small things.  Edward Everett Hale

Definition of Critic:
1   a : one who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique

b : one who engages often professionally in the analysis, evaluation, or appreciation of works of art or artistic performances

2

: one given to harsh or captious judgment

It is often the small, unimportant things in which we choose to be critical about.  And by critical I mean according to definition 2.  We very rarely use reasoned opinion when it comes to picking on and out the small annoyances that others display and we feel the need to be verbal about.  While we do also criticize big things it seems to be the small things that we just can't let go.  We've got to learn to pick our battles and friends I have news, the battle is self-contained in you.  All that small stuff that you are harshly judging others about?  It's not their issue - it is yours.  You are going to have to own it.  

When we choose to be the critic for other people's lives we wage war.  Battle begins because when we criticize we are actually nagging and demeaning and devaluing.  (I'm still focused on definition 2 people.) Especially when what we are pointing out and picking on is small and inconsequential.  Especially in light of big picture living.  Having a critical spirit reduces our life and how full we live it.  And it will eventually reduce the abundant full life of those we are picking on.  

When my children were younger they would put their shoes on the wrong feet as they were still learning how to get it all right.  I know many parents who battle their kids over this issue.  I took a different approach because REALLY?  That's the life skill you are going to battle over when there are more important ones?  We all know what happens with that particular skill, it eventually gets figured out because wearing shoes on the wrong feet isn't comfortable and everyone eventually figures that out!  So why fight that battle?  Many a time you would overhear me, as I shrugged my shoulders, say, "This isn't a battle I need to fight" and move on to something with a tad more importance.  

I decided a few years ago to adopt that same attitude with, yes I'm going to say it, adults.  There are some battles just not worth fighting.  There are some things, actually most things, that aren't worth putting on the hat of critic for.  What it seems to come down to more often than not is difference of values, ethics (work, etc), what was modeled for us when we were being raised, etc.  The next time you are tempted to be critical about a small thing (and you know what that means - you are smart enough to figure it out) or you hear yourself starting down the road of criticism with someone, do them and yourself a favor and STOP.  Take a deep breath and remember to pick your battles wisely.  Is *this* really one you want to wage?