It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.   Attributed to Hanoch McCarty I think a very clear picture of today's quote is seen in the TV show "Intervention".  That show makes me sad.  It gives a very clear picture of a person who is so beaten down by life circumstances and choices that they turn to drugs, alcohol, prostitution, etc to "cure" what ails them.  Except it ends up being more "ail" than "cure".  And as the producers interview these sad people it almost always comes out that they are trying to numb the disappointment of who they aren't but want to be.  Somehow, along the way, they got sidetracked from their true self and became this person even they cannot recognize.  They try to convince themselves and others that they like this person they are.  But they lie.  They lie to themselves.  Their disappointment in who they want to be but think they can never be hangs heavy on them like a ...