This afternoon I was talking with someone and as I listened to the story being told I suddenly felt grateful that *it* isn't all about me. I'm better off when my minutes, hours, and days aren't all about me - when I can focus on others and their needs, hearts, etc. When I do make things all about me I am frankly quite miserable. And don't misunderstand me, when it comes to taking care of myself - physically and emotionally - there is an element of it having to be all about me but overall in my days I really want it to be about others. I trust my Creator to take care of my needs (and usually he does it through someone else who isn't focused on themselves so see how it's a circle? Not a vicious one but a rather lovely one). So today I'm feeling grateful for the times when I can let go of some crazy insecure need for things to be all about me and I can make *it* all about others.
I've been thinking about it for over a month. Usually, when I'm in it I'm engaged. But this time? I started it indifferent and I've felt indifferent all along. I should have never started. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and they aren't wrong. So when I opened my eyes this morning it was clear. It's time. Time to quit this 365. This is the first 365 that I haven't posted several of the days, the first 365 that I wasn't super excited about, the first 365 that I've quit. I've changed my social media presence and interactions the past year so this is also the first 365 that hardly anyone has been interested in. Is it the topic or my decision to not be as accessible on social media? Or is it some other reason altogether? Well, regardless...I'm throwing in the towel on this one. I can't say if I'll ever do another 365 again. Time will tell and I will know if and when it's time.
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