I'm grateful that I have been learning to say "no" in the past few years. And honestly, those in my day to day life should be grateful that I have also learned how to say "no." Learning to say "no" to some things and not "yes" to everything has done wonders for my sanity, for the sanity of my family (I think!), and for my overall health and well-being. Saying "yes" but then being resentful and bitter about it doesn't do anyone any good. But being honest and saying "no" and being free from guilt about saying "no" does a world of good. Sometimes I would say "yes" because I had a reputation of being everyone's "yes" person to uphold. Sometimes I would say "yes" because I was guilted into it by people who didn't really care about me, just about themselves. Sometimes I would say "yes" because certain circles of influence told me that it was the "right" thing to do. And then I got depressed. And that forced me to start saying "no", and then I learned how liberating saying "no" was when I actually meant "no"! And then I learned when to say "no" and when to say "yes". I don't always get it perfect but I'm miles further down the road than I used to be.
I've been thinking about it for over a month. Usually, when I'm in it I'm engaged. But this time? I started it indifferent and I've felt indifferent all along. I should have never started. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and they aren't wrong. So when I opened my eyes this morning it was clear. It's time. Time to quit this 365. This is the first 365 that I haven't posted several of the days, the first 365 that I wasn't super excited about, the first 365 that I've quit. I've changed my social media presence and interactions the past year so this is also the first 365 that hardly anyone has been interested in. Is it the topic or my decision to not be as accessible on social media? Or is it some other reason altogether? Well, regardless...I'm throwing in the towel on this one. I can't say if I'll ever do another 365 again. Time will tell and I will know if and when it's time.
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