My Mama is arriving at the airport in Denver right about now and will soon be boarding a plane that will take her to another plane that will take her to Africa. I've taken a similar journey. Perhaps you remember my journeys to Africa, perhaps you are new to me and don't know. (If that's the case click here to start my story about Africa.) Regardless today I find myself "in" Africa in my thoughts and heart. In fact, lately I've been having dreams about all my beloved friends in Africa in which we are together. This past Saturday night I got to have some face time with a dear friend from Kenya, whom I will see again next week. Bits of sunshine. My Mama couldn't find room in her luggage for me so I'll have to be content with staring at the picture of the carepoint where she will be in Swaziland and fighting back the green-eyed monster that I can't be there. I'm grateful my Mama gets to visit a continent that has become a part of my heart. I'm grateful for Africa. Africa has been the birth place of freedom in my personal and spiritual life. That's a lot of pressure for a continent to provide but it happened. Doesn't happen that way for everyone, it may not for my Mama, but it did for me. Sometimes in my daydreams I can smell the air in Kenya, I can close my eyes and see the people I have met or passed by, I can hear the Kenyans and the mzungu worshiping God together, each in their own language. Sometimes I cry for the longing to return and the missing of a community near and dear to my heart. But I don't despise any of it. If I hadn't gotten on the plane the first time I wouldn't know how grateful I am for Africa.
I've been thinking about it for over a month. Usually, when I'm in it I'm engaged. But this time? I started it indifferent and I've felt indifferent all along. I should have never started. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and they aren't wrong. So when I opened my eyes this morning it was clear. It's time. Time to quit this 365. This is the first 365 that I haven't posted several of the days, the first 365 that I wasn't super excited about, the first 365 that I've quit. I've changed my social media presence and interactions the past year so this is also the first 365 that hardly anyone has been interested in. Is it the topic or my decision to not be as accessible on social media? Or is it some other reason altogether? Well, regardless...I'm throwing in the towel on this one. I can't say if I'll ever do another 365 again. Time will tell and I will know if and when it's time.
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