When introverts are in conflict with each other...it may require a map in order to follow all the silences, nonverbal cues and passive-aggressive behaviors! Adam McHugh
Oh boy. As an introvert and as one who observes behaviors of others I can say that this statement is pretty spot on. Disagree with me all you want but stop for a moment and observe below the surface and you'll end up agreeing with me and therefore with McHugh.
I think the reason a lot of introverts passive-aggressively argue with others is because of that introverted nature that keeps them from even engaging in arguments in social ways! Also, a lot of introverts that I know are peacekeepers (different than peacemakers btw) and peacekeepers are generally people pleasers (also better known as having fear of man) and people pleasers approach conflict in passive-aggressive and nonverbal ways. I know, I am one! And I've had to work really hard, and still have to work hard, at NOT behaving this way and giving in to these tendencies. And I don't always succeed. Sometimes I fail at it REALLY badly. But as soon as I recognize what I am doing I try to correct it asap. It does me no good, it does nobody else any good, when I engage in conflict in these ways. Forcing other people, introverts or not, to read my cues, guess what my body language is saying, and try to decipher what I really mean is unfair on so many levels.
How about you? How do approach conflict (because let's face it we all have it in our lives)? What might need to change about your conflict management?
Oh boy. As an introvert and as one who observes behaviors of others I can say that this statement is pretty spot on. Disagree with me all you want but stop for a moment and observe below the surface and you'll end up agreeing with me and therefore with McHugh.
I think the reason a lot of introverts passive-aggressively argue with others is because of that introverted nature that keeps them from even engaging in arguments in social ways! Also, a lot of introverts that I know are peacekeepers (different than peacemakers btw) and peacekeepers are generally people pleasers (also better known as having fear of man) and people pleasers approach conflict in passive-aggressive and nonverbal ways. I know, I am one! And I've had to work really hard, and still have to work hard, at NOT behaving this way and giving in to these tendencies. And I don't always succeed. Sometimes I fail at it REALLY badly. But as soon as I recognize what I am doing I try to correct it asap. It does me no good, it does nobody else any good, when I engage in conflict in these ways. Forcing other people, introverts or not, to read my cues, guess what my body language is saying, and try to decipher what I really mean is unfair on so many levels.
How about you? How do approach conflict (because let's face it we all have it in our lives)? What might need to change about your conflict management?
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