Reasoned & civil passion in discussion of a hot-button issue requires great virtue. Shouting & vitriol are not indicative of self-control.   Audrey Assad Today's quote addresses the problem we have in our world today with differences of opinion.  We have lost our ability to be reasoned and civil in our debates.  We resort to shouting, derision, impatience, and a whole host of other bad behaviors.  Many who lose self-control have attempted to justify their word choices and behavior with things they believe indicate they have a "right" to be jerks.  Shouting, derision, impatience, and all the other bad behaviors are not indicative of self-control, strength, power, education, wisdom, being "right", etc.  All it usually ends up indicating is that the person behaving so poorly is a jerk.  Mature people can practice self-control, are open to seeing other viewpoints, can concede when the ir point might not be "right", and can make their points wit

Give thanks with a grateful heart. Unknown Yesterday this quote hit me in a different way.  Not necessarily a new way but a different one.  When we give thanks with our lips but our hearts aren't grateful then all we are doing is giving lip service and that just doesn't get it done.  When we pay lip service but our hearts don't believe it then it is obvious.  You may not think anyone can tell that you don't believe it but trust me, people can tell.  Giving thanks with our lips but not our hearts tells others that we are insincere, shallow, and liars.  Ouch, kinda harsh isn't that Beth?  Yes it is but usually truth is hard to hear.  If our hearts aren't grateful then keep the lips still.  That will save a lot of embarrassment for everyone involved. What to do when we don't think we are grateful?  Well don't speak for heavens sake!  But examine your heart, examine why you don't think you are grateful.  Is it because the gift, in whatever form, isn

One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.   Nelson Mandela With today's quote the light bulb above my head went off.  The most important part of preparing for something, anything, is believing it will happen!  DUH!  This has never occurred to me before, you?  I think deep down I maybe knew that but I never really thought about it.  Until today.  Until the wisdom of Nelson Mandela grabbed my attention. I think about my lifelong journey with health and wellness.  Perhaps one of the reasons I have never achieved health and wellness permanently is because I never had the most important part prepared and that is belief!  Belief that I can be at a healthy weight and not struggle so much, belief that there are better things to do with my emotions than eat them *grin and sigh*, and belief that I am worth spending time on to get and stay healthy.  And, for me, health and wellness isn't the only thing I don't think I have prepared for with

Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses."   Jonathan Rauch More thoughts on introverts versus extroverts that I relate to!  Rauch's formula is just about right for me as well.  And prior to socializing I have to be alone and kind of ready myself to be social.  So I have to do a charge and then a recharge!  While I like people I just really like being by myself.  I love my home because it is a sanctuary for me.  I love putzing around in it, holing up in it, being in it.  This can cause problems so I force myself to leave it from

Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin. The Holy Bible, A Prayer of David, Book of Psalm, chapter 17 verse 3 I think *we* (those who are believers in God and those who want to mock believers of God - so pretty much everyone) make a mistake with the last part of this quote.  I think we think that to claim that God will find nothing and our resolution is to not sin that it, and David, means "sinless".  I'm pretty sure it doesn't.  Here's what I do think it means; I think it means that we should be sensitive to sin so that the moment we fall into it (and we ALL fall into it, none of us are exempt from sin) - through word or action - we are quick to repent.  I think it means that we invite the probing of God in our lives and we are quick to repent for what surfaces when he probes.  It doesn't mean that we are sinless, it doesn't mean that David thought he was

Be brave enough to enter the grey. Life's not all black and white. Pretending it is, is either legalism or escapism--sometimes both.   Audrey Assad Today's quote is almost continuing in the same vein as yesterday's .  Religion will tell us that life is black or white but it's not.  So many times we hit an area of life that makes us skid to a halt  because  it is grey and we don't know if we are allowed to enter the grey.  But we are.  We are allowed to enter the grey and most often we  should  enter it!  It's in the grey that we learn things like grace.  It's in the grey that we learn how to breathe easier and deeper.  I think it's even in the grey where our true self is revealed.  But entering into the grey takes courage, we must find the brave within us in order to do it.  You know why?  Because when we toe into the grey we usually end up rubbing people raw.  Those who don't have the bravery to enter the grey, and can't see past the black and

As far as I can tell the only way to fall from grace is to trip over religion.   Gwen Tennant-Ketchum My friend Gwen nails it in today's quote.  And I resonate with it because religion is the very thing that is what trips me up in grace.  When I find myself struggling to extend grace, receive grace, be grace I can usually look no further than religion.  Religion forgets relationships, it forgets flexibility, it forgets that sometimes *it* isn't black and white but gray.  Religion acts better than others, "high and mighty", and as judge and jury.  So when I find myself tripping up on grace I know that somehow religion has gotten in my way.   The Pharisees in the Bible are role models for religion tripping up grace.  They clashed with Jesus all the time over issues of grace.  It's unfortunate that I can relate to them a little too well.  Hang around me long enough and you'll hear me call myself a "recovering pharisee".  I say "recovering"

Going back to a simpler life is not a step backward.   Yvon Chouinard For a few years I have been trying to reduce the busyness of our family life and return to a simpler way of living.  Admittedly I haven't done a great job, my family isn't necessarily on board most of the time, but it's on my radar and I am making slow but sure steps to go back to a simpler life.  I'm not the only one who seems to be craving this.  Recently a friend announced that from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday (it's not coincidence in my mind that the time they choose is Sabbath but that's a whole different conversation) their family is resting from electronics; to include cell phones, computer, video games, etc. I applauded her and her family for their attempt to regain some of the simplicity of life.  See, even though I participate in my fair share of social media, electronic interactions, etc I am not that big a fan of this age we live in.  I happen to believe that the technolog

To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death.   Pearl S. Buck Today's quote makes me think of the saying, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish and you feed him  for  a lifetime."  The two go hand-in-hand I believe.   If you give someone "bread" but no hope accompanies it then the person will starve, figuratively of course.  When we give "bread" let us also introduce hope.  This happens through a variety of ways.  Like the second quote I snuck in today we can teach a person how to "fish" so that they can be fed for a lifetime.  We can show them how to tap into services that will support them and help them - medical clinics, food pantries, Job training centers, etc.  This is part of handing out hope along with the "bread".  Sometimes it comes through less practical ways.  Have you ever considered when the last time a person starving for hope and the more practical things of life may ha

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.  Socrates Have you ever listened to yourself when you've lost the debate/argument/fight?  What do you resort to when you've lost and you realize it?  Have you ever noticed that it generally is slander of some sort?  I'm ashamed, or perhaps human enough, to admit that I can see that in myself.  Slander comes in a lot of forms. It's not always overt or obvious.  Sometimes it is subtle and it doesn't always use words.  Sometimes it comes through actions.  Why do we do that?  Why do we feel the need to slander those that have perhaps made better points than us or have actually proved us incorrect/inaccurate?  Are we so insecure that we lower ourselves to slander when we can't debate well?  It's a lack of character that leads us to behave in this way. When I notice it in myself, whether others notice it or not, I am quick to put the brakes on and change the direction I'm headed.  I don't

Burnout: "A person being in a state of fatigue or disillusionment brought about by a dedication to a way of life which failed to bring the expected reward."   Freudenberger Feeling burned up and out?  What do you think has led up to that?  I know what leads up to mine.  And I think oftentimes, much as I don't want to admit it, Freudenberger might be right.  Perhaps "type A's" can relate to this more than "type B's or C's".  When I extend myself on behalf of a project, a task, a person, a group, etc and the end result (expected reward?  maybe at times...) isn't good, desirable, meted out, etc then I do feel burned up and burned out.  What to do then?  No seriously.  What to do?  Lower expectations of course.  Examine motivations for doing whatever I was doing for whomever I was doing it in the first place.  And even though I do those things I still experience burn out and burn up from time to time.  It's when I think my "type

Happiness is a fresh baked cookie.  Otis Spunkmeyer If you are familiar with Otis Spunkmeyer cookies then you know that happiness, for him, is indeed a fresh baked cookie and he shares that happiness with others.  I happen to agree with him because I am a "cookie monster" but it got me to thinking.  How would I finish the statement "Happiness is..."?  What's happiness for me?  What's happiness for you?  And once you know what it is, do you share it with others? There's actually quite a few things that make me happy.  (Different than joy btw, and that's a different blog)  Baking makes me very happy.  And part of the happiness I get from it is sharing it with others.  (This is how Otis and relate.)  Reading makes me happy.  I don't share it with others by reading to them but I do share books I love with others and share what I think of the books I read with others.  (Check out my Bookworm blog here .)  Giving gifts of all shapes and sizes makes

He who forgives ends the quarrel.   African Proverb Forgiveness is tough.  I'm the first one to say it.  It isn't easy and it takes some work.  But when we can actually forgive the other person then suddenly we find all the arguing ceases.  There's no more quarrels with the person, there's no more quarrels within yourself about the situation (am I the only one who has arguments with myself in the shower?  And why the shower?  What is it about the water that draws it out of me?  Cleansing perhaps?  Hmmmm.), and there are no more quarrels with others about the quarrel with the other.  (You followed that right?)  Forgiveness leads to the end of the arguing.  It leads to closure which is what we need most.  It can also lead to healing and reconciliation which we also need the most. A few years ago I was betrayed by several people that I trusted.  It was a painful time and it led me into a season of having to learn how to forgive.  It was a, no joke, FOUR YEAR process.  (

The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become - because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. . .It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.   C.S. Lewis I am never more myself than when I allow God to be my eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet, etc.  I am never more myself than when I let him direct my thoughts and words.  I am never more myself than when I let who he is be who I am.  And the same is true of you.  Did you know that?  Do you believe that?  It's okay if you don't because that doesn't change the truth of it.   When we allow the Creator of our lives and souls to infuse us with the personality he created for us then we are, at those moments, who we really are.  We are the truest us we can be.  When we veer off course from allowing God to infuse us then we become an imitation.  And people always, e

Write your hurts in the sand. Carve your blessings in stone. Jamie the Very Worst Missionary I love the picture this brings to mind.  Sand gets wiped clean and smoothed out by the water and stone is pretty much forever.  So the idea here is to record your hurts, if you are going to do that, in sand where it can be wiped clean and smoothed out and "forgotten" and record your blessings in stone where they can stand as a reminder on the days when the hurts threaten to overwhelm.  In our lives we will have both hurts and blessings and the people who choose to let the hurts be washed away are generally more joyful, fulfilled, and pleasant to be around!  Those who choose to carve their hurts in stone, however, are miserable to be around and miserable themselves.  Why would anyone choose misery as the description for their life?  And it is a choice.  Yes, crappy things happen but we have a choice.  Will we write them in the sand so they can be washed away and smoothed out or will

Let your resolution be his solution.   Unknown Okay.  It's a bit of a cheesy quote to be sure but something about it appeals to me.  And in a twist on the phrase my mind keeps changing it to also read, "let his solution be your resolution."  I think that most of the time that needs to be the truer sentiment.  I need to resolve that God's solutions for the things that come up in my life are best.  And too often I don't hold to that resolution.  Too often I go to him last for solutions rather than go to him first.  So yes, whatever I resolve to accomplish I should leave in his capable hands but more than that my whole life, and all that happens in it, I should be resolved that he has solutions already - ones that I cannot even come up with.   What about you?  Are you resolved to allow God to be the solution to what comes up in your life?  

Watch out for intellect, because it knows so much it knows nothing and leaves you hanging upside down, mouthing knowledge as your heart falls out of your mouth.   Anne Sexton Intellect and its partner, knowledge, are deceptive.  They trick people into thinking that they are wise or that someone they know is wise.  But wisdom is so much different than intellect and knowledge that they don't even live in the same home.  The definitions of intellect and knowledge include each other.  And they don't include feeling, or emotion, into their descriptions.  Wisdom does include some knowledge but it draws more from life experiences, observations, and emotion.  It considers more than the textbook stuff and takes into account life which is what rounds out the textbooks and brings them to life.  In the end when all you have and all you are speaking is from a place of intellect you prove yourself to know nothing at all.  You, as Sexton says in today's quote, show there is no heart t

Some people seem bent on misinterpreting everything everyone else says, ever. Pay them no mind and carry on. Audrey Assad Right?!  Have you ever encountered someone who does this?  ('Fess up if you recognize that you are the one who does this...)  It's so frustrating and it blocks relationship from happening.  If you know that someone you need to converse with has this particular bad habit just take a deep breath, say what you need to, and don't allow their misinterpretation to interfere with what you need to say.  Like today's quote says, pay them no mind and move on.   What is at the root of a person who misinterprets everything?  It could be several things.  It could be insecurity, arrogance,  a pessimistic outlook on life, or maybe it has been modeled for them by a parent/grandparent/mentor.   How do you have a relationship with someone who does this?  I believe authentic relationship cannot happen.  Who wants to spend any amount of time with someone who does th

Righteous - Those who honor God and order their lives in all things according to his will. In every human relationship they faithfully fulfill the obligations that the relationship entails, remembering that power and authority (of whatever sort: domestic, social, political, economic, religious, intellectual) are to be used to bless, not to exploit.   Psalm 1: 5 Study Note   Editors of the NIV Study Bible c 1985 Today in reading Psalm 15 I came across the word 'righteous' and when I studied a little further to make sure I had a good understanding of what it meant and/or implied I came across today's "quote" (my blog my choice on what I do! ha!).  It was too good, in my opinion, to not share.  And here's the thing.  Maybe you don't believe in God.  That's okay.  Look at what the whole message is and if you don't want to be that kind of person, whether you believe in God or not, then you might want to examine why and what hinders you from being th

To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.   Abraham Maslow So many people keep just one tool in their hand and most often it is the wrong tool.  I love the way Maslow phrases the thought behind today's quote.  And it's unfortunate that I can immediately think of several people who fit this description.  They have chosen to take up a hammer, and only a hammer, and everything they say or do is a hard hit meant to drive deep.  It's not in my personality to behave that way nor even appreciate those who do behave that way.  Here's your warning, in case you care , if you are someone who behaves like a hammer and treats everyone as a nail to hit I have zero respect for you.  Nor do I care to interact with you much at all.  Nobody, even the person behaving like a hammer, wants to be around someone who "hits" them  every time  there is interaction!   We behave like a hammer every time we "hit" someone for their

When introverts are in conflict with each other...it may require a map in order to follow all the silences, nonverbal cues and passive-aggressive behaviors! Adam McHugh Oh boy.  As an introvert and as one who observes behaviors of others I can say that this statement is pretty spot on.  Disagree with me all you want but stop for a moment and observe below the surface and you'll end up agreeing with me and therefore with McHugh.   I think the reason a lot of introverts passive-aggressively argue with others is  because  of that introverted nature that keeps them from even engaging in arguments in social ways!  Also, a lot of introverts that I know are peacekeepers (different than peacemakers btw) and peacekeepers are generally people pleasers (also better known as having fear of man) and people pleasers approach conflict in passive- aggressive  and nonverbal ways.  I know, I am one!  And I've had to work really hard, and still have to work hard, at NOT behaving this way and

The only way out is through. Robert Frost There's no better way to say it than how Frost so simply put it.  The only way out of a situation is to go through it.  And yes, that means you are probably going to be walking through some painful and messy but yet exciting stuff on your way through.  I'm willing to bet that you *all* know what I mean.  I think we've all had to get out by going through.  I know I have.  Oh sure, I tried to look for the out without having to walk through but there was no other path to take.  Even the shortcuts we attempt will eventually lead us back to the main path where we have to walk  through.  Why do we look for the out?  The out before its time steals from us character development, growing some thick skin, gaining some life experience, expanding our worldviews even.  Walking through helps us grow in all of those ways and more!  And while we think, yes we deceive ourselves, that going around the through to get to the out faster and without p

You don't have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground.  If you do, that shows how shaky your own position is.   Red Haircrow I have a real issue with people who assert their opinions about all manner of topics with disrespect, derision, patronizing, and foul language.  To use words that are laced with those characteristics is to send the message that you aren't totally secure in what you are saying you believe.  Haircrow has  absolutely  nailed it with today's quote.  In fact, even though I went "on and on" about how wonderful and vital words are yesterday, the best way to hold our ground on our opinions is to - wait for it - say not much at all.  *GASP*  Why not just live out what you believe about XYZ?  And when you do feel a need to talk about it why resort to using disrespectful tones and language?  I just don't see the need.  We are adults, let's act like ones!  And to get back to the point of today's quote - if you are

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts.   Jose Saramago Words are powerful.  We can and we do (at times) use them to heal and encourage.  We can and do (at times) wield them like weapons, our intent to harm or to protect.  But make no mistake, we use words to convey every emotion we experience, every opinion we have, everything we have learned.  Even those who cannot speak audibly use words to  communicate  the same things, they just do it with their hands or their eyes (ALS, etc).  Without words to  express ourselves and let others know what we are thinking we would be lost.  Words help us get to the heart of the matter.  They are the most overused and the most underused.  We overuse them when we should be a little more quiet and we under use them when we don't speak up and let assumptions start to dictate our emotions, etc.  It's a fine line to walk when using words.  Some of us, ahem *grin*, are too wordy and others of us need to speak up a little mor

....to love the Lord your God and to walk in all His ways and to keep His commandments and to cling to and unite with Him and to serve Him with all your heart and soul [your very life].   Joshua 22:5 AMP If you believe in God what do you mean when you say you love him and serve him?  What is your definition of that?  Does it mean you go to a church on Sunday mornings and maybe Wednesday nights?  Is that what loving God and serving God means to you?  Or is it more?  Are you on a journey to figure out what it is still?   I love today's quote from the book of Joshua in the Bible.  It indicates to me that loving God and serving him probably is defined best without including a church building/denomination/etc.  When I look at today's quote and I read it with an open heart and mind and clear eyes I see that loving and serving God is defined by obeying all of his word, uniting myself to him, and allowing my life to be changed by his word.  And when I say his word I mean his word

The only problem with seeing people you know is that they know you.   Brent Runyon, The Burn Journals Boy isn't this the truth.  This is so me - and so typical of an introvert I think, even outgoing ones like me.  I've been places and spotted people I know and I have gone down aisles and backed up and changed my course just so I don't have to interact with them if I'm not feeling up to it.  It almost always has nothing to do with the person but everything to do with me and my preference to be by myself - even in a store full of people.  Maybe you can relate to this - if so you have at least a little introvertness in you.  Maybe you can't relate on any part to this - my guess is you are extroverted.  :)  And both are okay and acceptable. I love having people in my life, I love having my "circles" but I'm pretty inward, more so than most people guess, and so I crave time by myself and I know when I enter into public I risk seeing someone I know.  

Truth is the only safe ground to stand upon.   Elizabeth Cady Stanton Today's quote could cover many different topics of truth but I want to discuss the most basic fact of truth and that is honesty.   When we choose to tell the truth, to be honest, then we are standing on firm ground.  When we choose to engage in dishonesty then we quickly can and will find ourselves in quicksand.  As a parent I've been reminded of this fact about telling the truth with my own children.  Teaching them to always tell the truth has been a needed refresher course for me. Through them I have seen why we are tempted  to  be dishonest and what happens when we choose that course of action.  I  have observed that we are most often tempted  to  be dishonest when we are scared of the consequences of whatever it is that needs to be disclosed.  This clearly shows how faulty our thinking is because the consequences of being dishonest and covering up far outweighs whatever the original consequences may be

...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.   Ann Voskamp Many people I know, those who don't  believe  in God and those who do, doubt God's presence in this life.  They doubt his presence in natural disasters that take lives and ruin homes.  They doubt his presence in tragedy like a gunman killing 20 children and 6 adults in a day.  They doubt his presence in fill in the blank .  And when we doubt God's presence we lack joy.  I know there are those who will disagree with me but it is true.  It's so true I will say it again. When we doubt God's presence we lack joy.  We lack authentic, honest, and true Joy.  How is it possible, you may wonder, to have Joy in the midst of what seems to lack God?  Because God isn't missing, he's there.  Sometimes we have to look for him.  Sometimes he doesn't just make himself obvious.  In 1 Kings we see an example of this.  He's not in the obvious wind, fire, etc - he's found in the gentl

Whatever may be the tensions and the stresses of a particular day, there is always lurking close at hand the trailing beauty of forgotten joy or unremembered peace.  Howard Thurman Each day holds , perhaps under its surface, joy and peace.  I disagree with Thur man that it is "or".  I believe it is both.  Some days are tough er than others but each day has be auty in it. Sometimes we might have to dig a little deep for it.  So dig deep. Find it beca use you won't regr et it.  You won't regret the deep dig you might have to do because when you unearth the peace and joy you will find your day improves.  You will find the tensions and stresses are dimin ished in light of the peace and joy that is there.  Joy and peace?  It's there, it really is.  

Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.    Alan Cohen (Again there is that "it goes without saying" that I must talk about new beginnings with today's highlighted quote.  I'm okay with that.   :) ) What is it about human nature that says we can't start something - a diet, a new way of handling finances, a relationship, a job, etc - until the conditions are perfect?  Is that our subtle way of trying to get out of the thing that we know would be good for us?  Is that our subtle way of communicating that we are perfectionists, all of us?  I love today's quote  because  it just flat out speaks the truth about beginning something.  The conditions will never be perfect but beginning is the perfect condition.  Beginning is all that is necessary to attempting the new thing.   We will never know what the true conditions are until we begin.  And once we begin we may find the conditions are better than we though