You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
I've been thinking about this proverb this week. When someone confronts you on an issue in your life you can usually tell if they are doing it because they care about you or because they just want to be a critical voice in your world. With the one friend you listen, as hard as it may be to hear. With the other you take it with a grain of salt and go on your way.
Have you ever heard steel sharpening steel? It can be a grating noise. But at the end of the process the steel is sharp and ready for use. That's also what happens with relationships. When you have given someone permission to speak into your life you should expect it to sometimes be grating on your dull edges. But if you can hear what is said and do some honest introspection about it then the hope is you come out of the process sharper and ready for further use.
If someone you know cares about you and desires the best for you speaks a hard word to you it is not rejection, it is love. It is love to be a sharpener in other people's lives. It is love to see their potential and hold them to it when they aren't holding themselves to it. It is love to approach someone and call them out on a behavior that isn't sharpening them but rather dulling them, making them ineffective to others. It is love to tell someone their behavior isn't appropriate and to show them a better way. It is love when we approach someone with true concern, with the heart that sees and knows their potential. It is not love when it is done in a critical spirit, a prideful way, a jealous fit. When sharpening someone we should not do it if our hearts aren't for them. If we can't do it in the spirit of love then we need to just keep quiet. Take seriously the invitation someone has extended to you to speak into their lives.
Now that we've talked about how to be the one sharpening let's look at being the one sharpened. If someone approaches you and you know their heart is for you then listen to them. Don't throw a pity party and say you are being rejected. Don't blame shift and excuse away what this person has pointed out. Accept responsibility for what is yours to own even if and when it kills your pride. Doing away with your sinful pride is, after all, the goal in having a character that draws people. Trust the hearts of the people you have invited into your life.
Allow yourself to be sharpened and you will become a person people are drawn to.
I've been thinking about this proverb this week. When someone confronts you on an issue in your life you can usually tell if they are doing it because they care about you or because they just want to be a critical voice in your world. With the one friend you listen, as hard as it may be to hear. With the other you take it with a grain of salt and go on your way.
Have you ever heard steel sharpening steel? It can be a grating noise. But at the end of the process the steel is sharp and ready for use. That's also what happens with relationships. When you have given someone permission to speak into your life you should expect it to sometimes be grating on your dull edges. But if you can hear what is said and do some honest introspection about it then the hope is you come out of the process sharper and ready for further use.
If someone you know cares about you and desires the best for you speaks a hard word to you it is not rejection, it is love. It is love to be a sharpener in other people's lives. It is love to see their potential and hold them to it when they aren't holding themselves to it. It is love to approach someone and call them out on a behavior that isn't sharpening them but rather dulling them, making them ineffective to others. It is love to tell someone their behavior isn't appropriate and to show them a better way. It is love when we approach someone with true concern, with the heart that sees and knows their potential. It is not love when it is done in a critical spirit, a prideful way, a jealous fit. When sharpening someone we should not do it if our hearts aren't for them. If we can't do it in the spirit of love then we need to just keep quiet. Take seriously the invitation someone has extended to you to speak into their lives.
Now that we've talked about how to be the one sharpening let's look at being the one sharpened. If someone approaches you and you know their heart is for you then listen to them. Don't throw a pity party and say you are being rejected. Don't blame shift and excuse away what this person has pointed out. Accept responsibility for what is yours to own even if and when it kills your pride. Doing away with your sinful pride is, after all, the goal in having a character that draws people. Trust the hearts of the people you have invited into your life.
Allow yourself to be sharpened and you will become a person people are drawn to.
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