Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
The worst kind of liar, perhaps the most pitiful kind of liar, is the one who lies to themselves. Self-deception is painful. It's painful for the people who are in the world of the liar and it eventually becomes painful for the liar themselves. At first the liar is in a bliss of sorts, having convinced themselves of their lie. But it always catches up to us in some way. And usually the way is painful. When we lie so much, so often, so passionately the lie becomes truth to us but nobody else. Everyone in our life can see the lie for what it is. This is when it becomes painful to be in relationship with a liar. The liar is so convinced of their "truth" that they fail to show respect for others who don't hold to the same "truth", they lower their own standards of respect, love, relationship, etc. It is as if the lie takes over their very person and erases all sense of decorum and etiquette. The lie kills off genuine love for others. It is like a monster that devours and its tastiest morsel is the liar. When we allow a lie to control our lives - our thoughts, our actions, our language, our perspective of others, our personality, and our core characteristics - we have allowed the lie to win over love. We do not love when we cannot respect others or our very self. How to tell when someone is a liar? When the "truth" they say they have compels them to behave rudely, use language that lacks imagination, assassinate the character of those who dare to disagree, treat others with disrespect, and incites poor behavior from others. Can our lie have truth in it? Yes but there is untruth mixed in when the above behaviors and attitudes are practiced. Genuine Truth doesn't ever behave that way because it doesn't need to prove itself. And genuine Truth, above all, loves. So if we find ourselves not loving then we must ask what are we lying about?
The worst kind of liar, perhaps the most pitiful kind of liar, is the one who lies to themselves. Self-deception is painful. It's painful for the people who are in the world of the liar and it eventually becomes painful for the liar themselves. At first the liar is in a bliss of sorts, having convinced themselves of their lie. But it always catches up to us in some way. And usually the way is painful. When we lie so much, so often, so passionately the lie becomes truth to us but nobody else. Everyone in our life can see the lie for what it is. This is when it becomes painful to be in relationship with a liar. The liar is so convinced of their "truth" that they fail to show respect for others who don't hold to the same "truth", they lower their own standards of respect, love, relationship, etc. It is as if the lie takes over their very person and erases all sense of decorum and etiquette. The lie kills off genuine love for others. It is like a monster that devours and its tastiest morsel is the liar. When we allow a lie to control our lives - our thoughts, our actions, our language, our perspective of others, our personality, and our core characteristics - we have allowed the lie to win over love. We do not love when we cannot respect others or our very self. How to tell when someone is a liar? When the "truth" they say they have compels them to behave rudely, use language that lacks imagination, assassinate the character of those who dare to disagree, treat others with disrespect, and incites poor behavior from others. Can our lie have truth in it? Yes but there is untruth mixed in when the above behaviors and attitudes are practiced. Genuine Truth doesn't ever behave that way because it doesn't need to prove itself. And genuine Truth, above all, loves. So if we find ourselves not loving then we must ask what are we lying about?
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