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Are you the disability?

Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.  Robert A Heinlein

Oh being a parent is not for the faint of heart.  Can I get an "amen"?!  And part of being a parent is that torn feeling.  Torn between sheltering them from everything bad and hard and between letting them go a bit on their own so they can learn and grow into responsible humans. 
I understand that bubble we want to create around our kids.  I experienced it just today as I dropped the youngest off for her first day of middle school in a school roughly 10 times bigger than what she is used to.  I could have walked her all the way to the gym, I wanted to walk her all the way to the gym and then sit with her and make sure that someone talked to her and she was okay and and and.... But that would have been the easy thing to do.  And in the long run it would have ended up being her handicap rather than what she needs.  So I stopped at a certain point in the building and I said, "I can't go any further with you."  And she looked at me with terrified eyes and I almost took it back.  But I don't want to be her disability, I want to be her boost so I held my ground (with my heart quivering) and I said, "You have to go on without me.  You'll do fine, it's going to be a great day.  I love you."  And I walked away.  I walked away with my sunglasses on so nobody could see my fears and tears for this sweet little redhead who has a hard time with kids. I walked away because if I had stayed I would have ended up being her handicap and not what she really needs. 
That's just one example - there a million more I could use.  Things like chores and material possessions.  Make them do chores and don't let them own too much.  C'mon parents, by making their lives what you may think is easy you put them at a great disadvantage as they become adults.  Don't be their disability by placing on them a handicap of ease. 

Comments

  1. AMEN! It is a tough line of listening to the Holy Spirit (instead of yourself) and knowing when, where & how to hold on and when, where & how to let go . . . seen the effects of not sheltering when I should've and not letting grow up when I should've have . . . and trying desperately to do it right with younger two!

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