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Showing posts from 2012

Saying Good-Bye before the Hello

Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.   Jonathan Lockwood Huie (It's almost a given that today's quote has to be about endings or some sort of completion because it's the last day of 2012.)   Endings and beginnings go hand in hand. They have to.  You cannot have a beginning without something having ended.  Only once in history can I think of a beginning occurring without an ending preceding it.  Otherwise an ending comes before a beginning.  The older I get the more I can appreciate endings.  The better perspective I have on them.  And the older I get the more peace I have about celebrating some of them!  Some things must end and should end in order to make way for a new thing.  And whether we admit it or not, whether we know it or not, we all want new things to happen.  We really do.  Celebrations will look different depending on what the ending is.  Celebration doesn't always mean balloons and loud music, sometimes they come through an acknowledgme

Life according to van Gogh...sort of

There are two ways of thinking about painting, how not to do it and how to do it; how to do it -- with much drawing and little color; how not to do it -- with much color and little drawing.   Vincent van Gogh in a l etter to Theo van Gogh, April 1882 Life is a little bit like today's quote from van Gogh.  Some of us live life focusing on the drawing - the details - and have very little color.  Others of us go for the color and forsake, to a degree, the drawing - the details.  Unlike painting, according to van Gogh, one is not wrong over the other but somewhere in between the two would be the best I would think.  If you look at some of van Gogh's paintings I feel like you can see where he might have struggled between the "how to do it" and the " how not to do it" (as he admittedly loved color so much but knew he had to focus more on the drawing) and that seems to be reflected in his life as well.  In the end he wasn't able to find the

Let's go have some "fun"!

Extroverts want us to have fun, because they assume we want what they want. And sometimes we do. But “fun” itself is a “bright” word, the kind of word that comes with flashing lights and an exclamation point! One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions of “fun” is “violent or excited activity or argument.” The very word makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room with lots of pillows—by myself.   Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength HAHAHAHAHA!  This is so true of me.  My idea of fun is browsing a book store for as many hours as I want by myself ( usually ).  Or I think it is fun to be with one other person in a quiet coffee shop.  I have been frustrated when extroverts try to convince me that my "fun" isn't fun at all.  It is for me just like theirs is for them.  I don't begrudge them their ideas of "fun" so I wish they would respect my version of it, and some do.  It's the ones who can't fathom that there are peop

The way to liberty

Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.   Frank Herbert If you want true freedom, which is liberty, then you must practice and incorporate discipline into your life.  It seems backward but it is true.  The only way to true liberty is to live a life of discipline.  I'm not talking about the kind that is exerted over us by governments or power hungry people.  I'm talking about the kind of discipline that comes from within.  Choosing moderation, denying selfishness, participating in behavior that is defined by integrity - ethics - responsibility, etc.  When we seek freedom we become slaves to unrealistic expectations and desires.  We are never satisfied or fulfilled but always reaching for something that doesn't actually exist.  We think freedom comes through pursuing our desires but it really comes through allowing discipline to be part of our lives.  In what may seem an ironic twist to us freedom becomes very clear in a life

Does your generosity have a "cap"?

You should not buy anything that you are not willing to give away.   Unknown On the surface today's quote seems to be about that favorite topic of mine - not hoarding and not having clutter in your home.  On the surface I suppose today's quote is partially about that BUT I'd like to go deeper than the surface.  (Shocker eh?)   Today's quote to me speaks of  generosity  and  selflessness  or selfishness.  Are you willing to bless or gift someone else with what you just purchased?  It could range from a cup of coffee to groceries to paying an overdue utility bill to fill in the blank .  And if you aren't willing to, why not?  What stops you?  Is it your own financial state?  Is it not being able to take the person's need at face value?  Is it simply that you are feeling selfish (because whether we admit it or not we all do feel selfish more than we would like to recognize)?  Does your generosity have a "cap"?  Have you placed limits on how generous y

The genres of life

My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky.   Alan Moore Ha!  I love today's quote!  LOVE IT!  And the truth of it is so stark that it kind of hit me upside the head.  Life is not one kind of genre, it is many all mixed in.  If  our  life was  actually  written out critics would hate it, they would rip it apart for its unevenness and inconsistency.  But isn't that what life is?  Things can be going along just fine and then BAM!   Out  of nowhere the genre switches because of a relationship or a circumstance.  That's life.  Life is  adventurous  and if we lived just one kind of genre the adventure would be missing.  We need all the genres in order to keep things interesting, to keep us growing forward, and to create the kind of legacy we are looking to leave.  Have you found  yourself  living just one genre of li

Letting Hope move in

The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.   Barbara Kingsolver Hope.  The word holds promise, anticipation, expectations, confidence.  What do you Hope for?  Have you figured it out?  Life lacks sparkle when we have no Hope.  We all Hope.  It's impossible for us not too but sometimes the Hope scares us so we try to deny we have any.  But it's there.  Skating around the edges of your heart and breathing life that you need into your soul.  It 's the denial of its existence that causes us to live outside of it.  Don't do that.  Allow it to infuse you, allow it to whisper to you.   Let it live in you and you in it.  Too often we look at Hope as something for others, unattainable, inaccessible so we stay far away from it.  It's like the house in our own neighborhood that we drive by everyday and admire but think we can'

Settling into your skin

I never change, I simply become more myself.   Joyce Carol Oates I have LOVED my 30's.  LOVED THEM.  Why?  Because I have settled into my skin.  I'm still doing some settling but mostly I've become comfortable in myself.  So while it seems to others, and even myself, that I have changed I haven't really.  I've just become more myself.  Some people have decided they don't like who I am and we have parted ways.  That's okay.  Some people have decided they do like who I am and they have stuck around.  That's okay.  And yet others (probably the ones closest to me - family and spouse) have decided that they don't know who I am and they are watching me settle in and the jury might still be out!  Ha!  That's okay too.  There are days that I look at myself and wonder, "Who AM I?"  And there  are days that I'm not sure if I like who I am, who I'm not, who others think I should be.  And then I remember that I'm settled  and  settlin

The glow of Joy

Joy is the best makeup. Anne Lamott What's that glow?  It's called Joy.  No amount of makeup applied can compete with Joy.  When it comes to women, their makeup can be flawless and beautiful but if they don't have Joy then they look dull and uninspiring.  When it comes to men, their face can be clean shaven - or groomed well - and they can smell good but if they don't have Joy then they are dull and uninspiring.  Joy is for both genders, it does not apply to just one.  Joy transcends the surface of our lives and comes from deep within to bring a glow to our lives.  It is the best accessory, the best makeup, the best practice anyone can incorporate into their lives.  Where does Joy comes from?  How do you find Joy?  It is allowing your days, your very life, to be touched by the simple and small things that come from gratitude.   Being grateful is the beginning of Joy.    It's allowing hard circumstances to be met with something deeper than the surface and letting

Breathing in solitude

Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe. Susan Cain All the introverts in the house 'holla!  Seriously.  I read today's quote and I resonate loudly, "YES!"  I know I desperately need solitude, even from my own family.  I need time by myself and that includes no kids, no husband.  Just me.  It's what I count on to get me through work weeks of interacting and being that outgoing introvert that I am.  When I get my time of solitude I breathe it in deeply, so much that I almost gulp it in and become breathless with how much I am taking in and trying to store up.  In fact, I crave it so much that even 8-10 hours of it isn't enough, I have to  re-acclimate  to people coming back into my space and it takes me a while to feel welcoming toward people inserting themselves back into my space.  Sad but true.  That's how much solitude means to me.  That's how much I need it.  How about you?  Can you relate or does the idea of solitud

All kinds of stupid

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.   Ralph Waldo Emerson Oh gosh.  I am so grateful for the friends in my life that I can be stupid with.  Whether it's a silly stupid, an emotional stupid, or just plain stupid.  I'm so grateful for the ones who put up with me and my stupidity.  And I've got a few that have gone the distance with me.  I've got some that I know I am being stupid but I still go to them because I know they will put up with it and still love and even like me!  How about you?  Do you have people in your life that you can be all kinds of stupid with?  I sure hope so because Emerson is right, it is a blessing! 

The way to understanding

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.   Harper Lee It's an art of sorts to get outside of yourself and purposefully place yourself in the shoes of another.  It's an act of selflessness to consider another's perspective.  Have you ever let go of your irritation with someone long enough to try and understand where they might be coming from?  Have you ever made the choice to go beyond the surface of someones behavior and try to  understand  their depths - where they speak and behave from?  We cannot really know another person until we make the decision to "climb inside of his [her] skin and walk around in it."  Until we make a decision to come to an understanding of who they really are below the surface we won't understand them. And when we make the choice to do that something happens - we have compassion for them.  We don't have to agree with them to

The winds of life

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward Today's quote makes me laugh.  Mostly because of how true it is.  As soon as you read today's quote did names immediately come to mind of those who fit the pessimist, optimist, and realist?  Which one are you?  I think we all want to be the realist, adjusting our sails to handle the wind.  But we aren't all the realist. Some of us are the pessimist and some are the optimist.  Sometimes we can be any of the three depending on the winds. A warmer wind, for example, is easier for me to adjust my sails to.  A cold wind usually brings out the complaining in me.   We all need a variety of these kind of people in our lives.  Pessimists help me to be more optimistic or realistic.  Optimists usually point me toward realism, although sometimes I fall into pessimism.  And realists help me gain perspective while I can share with them optimism...and sometimes

Table for two please!

Though I may be efficient at the family table, I linger at the table for two.   Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength There's a problem I have.  And today's quote helps me sum up my problem.  I am what you would call out outgoing introvert.  It means I can do extroverted things or behave in extroverted ways BUT for shorter lengths of time and I am exhausted afterwards.  My job outside my home happens to be a front desk receptionist.  Um.  Hello extrovert behavior anyone?  I have to interact, I can't crawl into my cave that I love and have decorated.  Here's where my problem occurs.  A lot of people only see me in the role of front desk  receptionist   i.e. being an "extrovert".  What they don't see is before and after.  Before work I don't do a lot of talking or engaging - I'm pretty careful with my time before work each day.  After work?  Same thing.  I try to stay pretty quiet and boost up my reserves f

Adjusting our sight

Darkness forces our focus on the relevant, while the irrelevant fades away.   Seré Prince Halverson In darkness we are forced to adjust our sight to what really matters.  The path ahead of us, obstacles in our way, the finish line (so to speak).  What isn't important to our journey melts into the darkness and is unseen because it does not matter.  In darkness all that matters is what will help us get through.  Sometimes we don't even know that something or someone is irrelevant in our lives until darkness envelops us.   I went through a dark time a couple of years back and it became very clear that there were certain people in my life that had become, unfortunately, irrelevant.  They melted into the darkness and I haven't heard from them since.  I bet that I have also been irrelevant in people's lives and I have melted into their dark times.  Sometimes the darkness is the best way to prioritize.  It helps us to adjust our perspectives and see what really does matter,

One overpowers the other

The more one judges, the less one loves.   Honoré de Balzac When we place ourselves in a position of judging others because they don't have the same views (political), beliefs (religious), lifestyles, careers, fashion sense, etc then we also place ourselves in a position of loving others less.  There isn't room for judgement and love.  One overpowers the other and when we give in to judging we have chosen to leave love behind.  There are times when this is more evident than others.  Times like election season, when controversial topics are highlighted because of a tragedy, etc.   There is a huge difference between opinion and judgement.  We cross over from holding an opinion to judging when we engage in pompous behavior, mocking others who hold differing views/opinions, using foul language to get our point across, and treating others with derision because they don't agree with us.  We silently turn to judgement when we feel the need to use social media to post pictures,

A "moment" of silence

Silence is more eloquent than words.   Thomas Carlyle It would be a mistake to not acknowledge the tragedy that has befallen our nation in the past 24 hours.  Unspeakable evil has occurred and precious lives, young and older, have been taken.  Put into motion is a grief that will last years for the families directly involved and impacted.  Put into motion is a fear that has settled into the minds and hearts of those who witnessed this atrocious act.  A community has been shaken by a devastating event and nothing will ever really be the same.  I would venture to say every parent is heartbroken and every human touched by this unspeakable evil. The responses of those who aren't directly impacted but yet touched have been interesting.  Many have taken up their own personal battle cry for their particular views on gun control and God.  Those are the two topics getting the most talk from this tragedy.  I have allowed *you* your opinion, please allow me mine.  It is not the time to ta

Held back by deception

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.   Attributed to Hanoch McCarty I think a very clear picture of today's quote is seen in the TV show "Intervention".  That show makes me sad.  It gives a very clear picture of a person who is so beaten down by life circumstances and choices that they turn to drugs, alcohol, prostitution, etc to "cure" what ails them.  Except it ends up being more "ail" than "cure".  And as the producers interview these sad people it almost always comes out that they are trying to numb the disappointment of who they aren't but want to be.  Somehow, along the way, they got sidetracked from their true self and became this person even they cannot recognize.  They try to convince themselves and others that they like this person they are.  But they lie.  They lie to themselves.  Their disappointment in who they want to be but think they can never be hangs heavy on them like a

Sweat Equity

You cannot dream yourself into a character: you must hammer and forge yourself into one.   Henry D. Thoreau Developing character. a solid one, takes work.  It cannot and does not just happen.  A character with substance, one that draws others instead of repels them, requires a little sweat equity.  You have to put some muscle into it.  Just as a lump of clay, untouched, is unappealing so is a character that is untouched.  To make the clay something that is appealing both to eye and practicality some muscle has to be flexed and some work has to be done.  Have you ever seen a potter work the clay?  It's not like "Ghost", just sayin'.   To get the clay to mold, to form into the vision the potter has for it, to be useful, the potter has to apply pressure, work, remove bits.   Every piece of pottery that makes it from lump to finished piece has sweat equity invested in it.  So it must be with our characters.  If we invest some sweat equity it will show, if we put no wor

Honesty, it's a youthful glow

There's nothing that keeps its youth, so far as I know, but a tree and truth.   Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. I may be totally off on today's quote but oh well!   It's my blog so I can interpret as I want!  Ha!   We all are aging.  No matter what we might try to maintain our youth we fail.  We are all aging.  No amount of botox, surgery, fast cars, etc will help us with the quest to stay youthful.  So why not focus instead on the things that matter and do keep their youth?  I'm going to bypass the tree part of Holmes quote today and go straight for the other, more important in my opinion, part.  Truth.  When we choose honesty we choose youth because the truth never ages.  It maintains its youthful glow.  The picture I get in my mind is that of wrinkled skin versus smooth.  When we choose lies and falsehood we create wrinkles.  And what do we do with wrinkles?  We try to smooth them back out with cremes and such.  We try to cover them up and hide them.  We put a lot of

Footloose and fancy free

On with the dance, let joy be unconfined.   Mark Twain To be confined means to be limited or restricted in some way.  It means that you are held up or in bondage (whether that is physical or figuratively).  So to be unconfined is the opposite.  It means we have the ability to be footloose and fancy free.  Twain's advice in today's quote is much deeper than how most may read it on the surface.  Joy cannot, indeed should not, be confined.  It should be allowed to dance throughout our days and our lives, unhindered by circumstances or physical restrictions.  Joy is possible even when the surfaces of our lives indicate it shouldn't be.  Joy is able to transcend the immediate and introduce a dance to get us through.  Joy is something that cannot be fettered, its strength breaks the chains that restrict us.  Some days the dance joy introduces is a waltz, other days it is hip-hop.  The dance of joy in your life will look different with your days but let it have its way and make

Making Room

When we clear out stuff, we make room for people.   http://www.imperfecthomemaking.com/2011/10/31-days-to-organized-home-day-one.html This is not a new topic to the 365.  :)  Obviously, however, it is one of my most favorite topics! I love clearing out stuff that we haven't touched, used, thought about in 6 months or more.  In fact, I'm getting ready to go through some tubs again and see what we can get out of our home because it is taking up space. My house isn't a place where stuff is takes precedence over people but I practice keeping our material possessions to a minimum because I don't ever want it to get to a place where it does.  When I watch shows like "Hoarders" and see how family members and friends don't feel welcome and feel pushed out of their loved ones life because of stuff I feel sad.  How tragic to send the message that this thing (whatever it may be) is more important than a spouse or someone else who loves you. This got me to thinki

The search is beyond ourselves

Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. C.S. Lewis Mere Christianity We are all looking for something.  Something that has meaning, worth, value, inspiration, and purpose for our lives.  Not one of us is exempt from this search.  The results are in and clear.  It's nothing in this world that will answer that quest.  What we each are seeking can only be found outside of this world.  It can only be found in something beyond ourselves.  Lewis knew what he was talking about, he went from searching this world for answers and being left still wondering to searching beyond himself and finding exactly what he was looking for.  The answer is found beyond ourselves.  The answer is found in a Creator who created us.  He is the One with what we seek.  He holds meaning, purpose, value, inspiration, and worth for our lives.  Nothing else comes close.   Nothing .  No amoun

Imitation at its finest

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it. Albert Schweitzer  I love today's quote all on its own but I also love when I hear or read stories that back it up.  I'm a firm believer in doing acts of kindness, random or not, and inspiring others to do the same.  And I do believe that the majority of the time people are inspired to commit their own acts of kindness once they have been recipients.  Just today I read on FB from a friend's status, " went through the drive thru at Starbucks this morning and the car in front of me paid for my order.. random acts of Christmas season kindness made my day!!"   Wonderful and kind acts don't have to be  grandiose  in scale (financially, materially, etc) - just  grandiose  in thought and intention. A $4 coffee is grandiose, not because it was $4 my friend didn't have to spend but because someone, a  stranger  , extended beyond themselves to another person. And of course what is the response of my friend? She's

Life lived from the heart

Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.    Melody Beattie Our greatest stories, those which leave the most impact, come from our hearts.  And what comes from our hearts are stories that have laughter, sorrow, healing, pain, and everything in between.  The best stories have a little bit of all, even the pain.  For our pain can be someone else's healing.  When we share from our hearts we are telling a story of grace, of redemption, and of hope.  Just like the stories from the hearts of others can be a soothing balm, a life lesson, or a myriad of other things so can our stories be as well in the life of others.  But they have to be shared from the heart.  If they are not then they will not accomplish what they could, the potential of the story won't be reached.  Our stories will only be heartfelt when they are lived from that place as well.  Don't be afraid of your heart, live from it and share from it. 

Nourishment

Your own soul is nourished when you are kind.   Proverbs 11:17 Feeling low?  Kinda down in the dumps?  When was the last time you reached outside of yourself and extended kindness? If it's been a while then that may be why you are feeling a little low.  Something incredible happens when we reach out beyond ourselves - beyond our own circumstances (that may be grim), beyond our own selfishness (we all are), and beyond our own moods (we all get in them) - we experience nourishment.  Our souls lift and become lighter, our perspective on our own circumstances alter slightly, our selfishness is exposed to light and we can deal with it, our moods change course.  At least this is my experience when I extend kindness, especially when I'm not necessarily feeling it right away.  Sometimes, I admit, I have to take a deep breath and put a smile on my face and go what feels like the "extra mile" but then as I get into it I find it is good and right to do and before I know it I a

Enough not more

I don't really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done-yesterday.   Ann Voskamp Yes.  Voskamp says it perfectly.  It's not necessarily more time that we may want (although we may think so initially), but it's enough time.  Enough time in each 24 hours of a day to breathe deeply, to not feel pressed for more time but just enough time.  Enough time in each 24 hours to feel like I'm not rushed and I've missed deadlines that never existed.  Enough time in each 24 hours to "stop and smell the roses", whatever form that takes for each of us.  Enough time in each 24 hours to be grateful, to look at life and see the beauty in the midst of the busy.  And for me, and maybe you, a believer in God - enough time in each 24 hours to stop and see his hand in m

What a great book can do

A great book should leave you with many experiences, and slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading.   William Styron Word.  *grin*   So true and how do I know?  I've experienced books that leave me with many experiences and at the end of the book I am reluctant to close it and end the story and my time with the characters.  I love it when an author can do that for their readers.  What is also so fun is that everyone has different authors that do this for them, we don't all like the same authors so that's why there can be so many authors and titles within genres.  I love reading, I'm pretty sure this doesn't surprise any of you.  And I love it because it opens up adventures for me and you.  Styron is right, we can live several lives while reading.  I think through several books that I have read that this has  occurred.  One series this has definitely happened with is    Diana Gabaldon's Outlander Series .  Talk about living several l

Got bias? Why yes I do and so do you!

We can't outlive our lives if we can't get beyond our biases.   Max Lucado I've been thinking a lot about biases lately.  We all have them and if you deny that you have them you are, well, a liar!  :)  Seriously.  We all have biases about a variety of things.  I decided a few weeks ago to challenge one of the many biases I have.  Have you ever done that?  Have you ever purposely sought out information on the opposing view so that your bias can be reformed or strengthened?  It can be tough because in the search to understand the bias (opinion) opposite ours we are usually required to examine the parts of our own bias that aren't 100% accurate.  Nobody likes to concede to the "other side".  It requires humility to see through your own bias and acknowledge the opposite.  It requires grace to be in relationship with those who hold opposite biases than you (on the controversial topics, I'm not at all referring to the silly little biases we have regarding cof

Living in fear

Find out what you are afraid of and go live there.   Chuck Palahniuk What are you afraid of?  I don't think Palahniuk means snakes either.  I know I certainly don't!  Go beyond the surface things that immediately come to mind and get deeper.  Are you afraid of...succeeding?  Failing?  Trying a different career?  Living away from family?  Picking up that hobby that has always interested you but is so out of character?  So you see what I mean, and what I think Palahniuk means as well. Go live in the place where your fear lives and conquer it.  Go live there and find it isn't as scary as your mind told you it was.  Go live there and fail in order to succeed, yes they go hand in hand!  Don't let fear define you or your life, go and put it in its rightful place.  Fear has a place in our lives and if we treat it right it will help us grow and develop and do things we never would have thought we could.  And what makes me tremble in my heart won't make you tremble in you

The choice is yours, even when you are told it isn't

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.   Eleanor Roosevelt Don't allow people to tell you who you are and who you should be.  Don't allow people to tell you what you are suited for and what is above or beneath you.  When you allow people to define you then you have given them permission to control your life.  And generally what happens is when someone else is controlling your life you feel inferior, even if they are telling you how amazing you are.  Because generally they only think you are amazing if you are performing/behaving up to their standards. Once you don't, they don't think you are amazing, they belittle you and push you to be better which leads, oddly enough, to feelings of inferiority.  You have the choice whether or not you will go through life feeling inferior.  If you have given anyone permission to make you feel inferior you also have the choice to deny them access any longer.  The choice is always yours, even when you are told it isn&

The battle

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.  The challenge is to silence the mind.  Caroline Myss The biggest obstacle to our healing from emotional wounds, etc is to keep our minds from engaging in that healing.  Our minds are wonderful and helpful when it comes to pretty much everything but healing.  Then our minds turn on us.  They replay the lies that hold us in bondage, they keep the shame we might feel at the front of our efforts, they whisper things to us that keep us in victim mode, they convince us that we are right and "the world" is wrong and against us.  The mind becomes our enemy of sorts when we need to heal. I know this first hand.  I've been there.  I've been in a battle with my mind and my soul. Our souls always know what to do to heal.  They are reliable in leading the way to wholeness.  They point north and lead the way but only if the mind gets out of the way.  And that is a choice each of us have to make when it comes to healing.  Will w

Unseen bondage

Shame erases hope.   Unknown We are held captive and in an unseen bondage when we allow shame to speak over and into our lives.  Shame is made of a "material" that is hard to break.  And when we apply it to ourselves or to others we are placing a sentence on us or them.  Shame keeps the poverty stricken in poverty, even if their material wealth rebounds.  Shame keeps the abused in victim mode, even if healing has presented itself.  Shame keeps the insecure timid, even if strength has been demonstrated   Shame keeps the young girl with babies from her family, even if they have reached out.  Shame keeps *you* silent, even when it is right that you speak.  Shame keeps *you* believing the lies, even when the truth is so evident.  Hope is the freedom and shame is the bondage.  To choose freedom is to choose hope and we are the only ones who can choose it for ourselves.  Other people may try to hand us hope, demonstrate hope, gift us with hope but only we have the ultimate decisi

Prep for Life

We're so focused on getting kids ready for college, but we're not preparing them for life.    Dowdle, Hillari. "Bring Back Home Ec!."  Cooking Light . 2012: n. page. Print. Boy did this quote strike a chord with me the second I read it.  Everything in me resonated a loud "yes!"  We have done, are doing, our kids a great disservice   We have focused too much on intellectual education and neglected life education.  It doesn't matter how much education one has if they cannot perform the basic functions of life such as: laundry, cooking a few simple meals, knowing how to pay bills, cleaning a toilet, just to name a few.  Our kids deserve more and better than handing them the pressure of a 4.0 GPA and all the electronics they want. There's nothing wrong with the 4.0 GPA but if it means they have no idea how to function in the practicals of life then we haven't done them any favors.  There's nothing wrong with electronics per se but if it means o

The past is not actually past

The past is never where you think you left it.   Katherine Anne Porter Life has a funny way of catching up to us doesn't it?  Those old hurts, people, thoughts, actions, etc that we think we left behind us have a funny way of reappearing at, usually, the most inopportune times.  One thing I have learned about leaving the past behind is it doesn't stay there unless we have gone through the process of closure.  If we can find ways to close out our past in healthy ways then the chance that it won't pop back up at those inopportune times is better and if it does pop up the chance that we respond to it in healthy ways is better as well.  But don't think you have left it beh ind in a p lace it cannot be fo un d or for good. The past can always be found, it is not lost forever.  If we can learn to close out our past in a heal thy way then we won't despise it, fear it, or run from it when i t reappears.  We will instead welcome it and the lessons we learned in it.    S

Everything rides on Hope now

Where there's life, there's hope.   Terence I've been hovering over this quote for months and months.  I suppose it is time.  :) I found today's quote on a Celestial Seasonings tea bag at work one day and it literally struck me the moment I read it.  What came to my mind immediately was my beloved Kenya and its slums.  I have walked through two of Kenya's worst slums, indeed one of them is the oldest and worst slum in all of East Africa - Mathare Valley .  Before walking through it a friend who had previously done so told me how deplorable the slum was.  All one has to do is look at pictures to see that.  Lifelong residents of Nairobi refuse to go near Mathare, as they may have to drive by it they turn the other way and pretend they don't see it.  Upon finding out that we were willingly and even eagerly going into Mathare and purposely spending time there the local people are confused and frightened.  Mathare is no walk in the park my friends.  This same frie

On writing

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.   E.L. Doctorow Ha!  I love this.  It gives me permission to be other people.  *grin*  Writing allows me to express my ideas, thoughts, emotions, etc in ways that are more comfortable to me than verbal expression.  I read a book by Stephen King called "On Writing" and he gave great advice in it for writers.  One thing that he said which has stuck with me is to be true to your characters.  If they have a different lifestyle than mine be true to it.  If they use language I don't be true to that.  Doing this would be what I would consider schizophrenia, for me at least!  :)  If you write, do you see ways in which you are schizophrenic?  

Fall forward into the moment

Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.   Unknown Only you have a choice about your moments.  You know which ones I'm talking about.  The ones that are standing on the edge and have the potential to fall forward into greatness or crumble in defeat from fear and hesitations.  Only you have the choice to decide what those moments will look like and become.  There are no perfect moments, each one is presented to us for our choice so it is up to you to make it be what you want.   And moments cannot be repeated.  Oh we may come across moments that look similar or feel similar to the one we crumbled on but the moment that we perhaps let get away from us will never be repeated exactly.  So take advantage of moments presented.  Don't let fear keep you on the edge of greatness crumbled in defeat, fall forward in the moment and see what greatness will come from it.

What's going to matter when you're 6 feet under?

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful...that's what matters to me.   Steve Jobs What lasts beyond our physical life is our acts - of kindness or not - not our stored up treasures.  Even Steve Jobs, one of the richest men, knew this.  Even he knew that in this life it is not our material possessions but our deeds that are remembered long after we are.  All of his wealth didn't matter if he wasn't known for acts of kindness.  We all should have this perspective.  Yes, material possessions are nice but our deeds have a deeper impact.  And it's important to note, I think, that our deeds - good or bad - impact.  And we are remembered for either of them.  People will remember what a jerk we were if we behave badly.  And people will remember what a lovely person we were if we behave kindly.  And if we are a jerk and leave tons of money to "make up for it" I have news for you.

Thanks-living

Thanksgiving creates abundance.   Ann Voskamp When we live a grateful life we create abundance.  Nothing may change in circumstances but we suddenly see the abundance that surrounds us.  Get outside of the box of what our world says abundance is.  It is not material possessions. It is relationships.  It is not quantity.  It is quality.  (That applies to relationships as well btw.)  It is not standing on the top rung of the corporate ladder (which frankly is quite wobbly these days anyway).  It is standing on the top rung of living a  life defined by  integrity.  Those are just a few examples that came to mind this morning as I reflect, along with our nation, on thanksgiving.   In your own life how does living thankfully create abundance?  How have you seen thanks-living expand your life?   If you lack abundance in your life you may want to reflect on how you are living - thankfully or not?  It's not too late, it's never too late, to turn it around.  Live thankfully and y

For Wednesday, November 21: Weaved In

Live Boldly: Live closer to that thing that makes you sing.   Mary Anne Radmacher Part of living a bolder life is to take risks.  To put yourself out there and see what might happen.  Many lessons go along with that but today I want to focus solely on what the quote from Radmacher says to me, and perhaps to you as well. I think that sometimes the thing that makes us sing (in heart, in spirit, etc) doesn't make sense on the practical level (income, etc) so we often place it on the back burner and watch it simmer away down to nothing while we engage in a more practical way of living.  But perhaps that isn't so practical after all.  Our souls can dry up and burn out in the practical applications of life.  But we have to eat, right?  We need to have a roof over our heads, right?  Right and yet... If it (what is "it" for you?) makes you sing then get creative, take it off the back burner of your life and begin to let it boil.  Let it enter into the practical parts of y

Are you lying? It is possible I am.

Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.   Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov The worst kind of liar, perhaps the most pitiful kind of liar, is the one who lies to themselves.  Self-deception is painful.  It's painful for the people who are in the world of the liar and it eventually becomes painful for the liar themselves.  At first the liar is in a bliss of sorts, having convinced themselves of their lie.  But it always catches up to us in some way.  And usually the way is painful.  When we lie so much, so often, so  passionately  the lie becomes truth to us but nobody else.  Everyone in our life can see the lie for what it is.  This is when it becomes painful to be in relationship with a liar.  The liar is so convinced of their "truth" t

The best of life

The best things in life aren't things.   Art Buchwald Let's all stop for a moment and think. What truly gives you the most pleasure?  What soothes your soul when it is turbulent?  What brings a smile to your face and heart?  What fills you? Did you think of an item?  Or did you think of a person?  Or did you think of something to do or that you've done?  I think, without knowing all the answers, that chances are high that most people think of a person or something they have done or will do.  I think chances are high that it isn't a material possession that is the answer to my query. If I take a moment and look around my home I am grateful for what is in it.  I even really like some of my possessions.  But when it comes right down to it what has soothed me, filled me, or brought me happiness has not been any of those material things that I really like.  It has been a simple cup of tea or coffee and time to be introspective, a chat with a friend who gets my heart, a

Are you a world traveler?

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.   Saint Augustine of Hippo If you know me well, or really at all, you know how much I love to read.  And I'm beginning to learn to love to travel.  So I like today's quote because I see it kind of two-fold.   One, the book perspective.  Books hold a world of knowledge, imagination, and pleasure for the reader.  You can travel without leaving your immediate world.  They can and will transport you to places you may never be able to get to.  Books can expand your world of knowledge and broaden your horizon of topics.  If you do not read you won't be as informed as others will be.   Two, the world traveler perspective.  This amazing world holds such beauty and awe.  It holds cultures to be experienced, foods to be tasted, smells to inhale, history to be seen.  Be curious about this world we live in.  Even if you can't afford to go to other cultures study up on them (reading!) by viewing pictures, tasti

Tuesdays, er Saturday, with Morrie

The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.    Morrie Schwartz Morrie became famous when an old student of his, Mitch Albom, spent Tuesdays with him near the end of his battle with ALS and then recounted the lessons Morrie shared with him in a book.  Morrie was a pretty smart man, if today's quote was his only one * he would still be smart.  Today's quote is spot on.   Once you learn how to die to your self - your selfishness, your need to be right, your entitlements, your pride, your vanity,  your fears, your insecurities, whatever else of yours that holds you back from living life - then you begin to learn how to live.  An abundant, full, satisfied life begins when we die to our very self.  How is that possible?  Because all the things we have to die to hold us back from really living life.  So once you learn how to die to those things your life will begin.   Morrie's wisdom reminds me of age-old wisdom from the book of John in the Bible.  "

The kind of memory loss we need

You will never forget what you will not forgive.   Wess Stafford Some of us, okay all of us, need to invite memory loss into our lives.  Read today's quote again and you'll see what I'm saying.  Until we forgive we will not forget and most of us have at least one thing that we need to forgive and forget.  It's weighing us down, holding us back, keeping the pot stirred.  And let's be clear, you may not ever totally forget the thing forgiven but you will forget the pain associated with it, you will forget the anger attached to it, you will forget the betrayal that happened in it.  And that's what we need to forget in order to move on in healthy ways.  But we won't forget those things until we do the hard work of forgiveness.  And forgiveness is hard work.  I'm not pretending it is easy.  But it is necessary.  Forgiveness is necessary to be set free from the bondage of bitterness, anger, and being stagnant as a human. That's right, when we choose for

Jump!

The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap!   Mary Anne Radmacher I love the visual this quote from Radmacher (a favorite quote master of mine in case you hadn't noticed) brings up in my mind. In my mind I see myself standing at the edge of a cliff called "You are here" and a mere five or so feet away is the cliff called "Where you want to be" and all I have to do is one giant leap.  Except I've been standing on the edge of cliff "You are here" for a long time, too long really.  I toe it, I've walked along it, I've peered down over the edge of it, I've tested if I have to leap to make it to other side or if I could just stretch myself and make it across, I've even looked around for materials to build a bridge over to the other side.  But there is no way to get over to "Where you want to be" unless I leap. I'm going to have to jump.