The potential original origin of this phrase dates back to the 14th century and a rather unsavory kind of pie. Specifically a pie of offal. *gag* Back then offal was called "umble(s)" so people who were poorer and couldn't afford the expensive meats, i.e. non-offal, ate umble pies. The thought is the expression morphed into a figurative one for humility due to the humble station one has to be living in to eat offal pie. (source)
There are two probable origins for this idiom and I think both are equally plausible. The first one is that when you spread butter on bread you are buttering it up like one would do when trying to flatter someone. The second is in ancient India there was a practice of throwing balls of butter at statues to ask for favor, i.e. buttering them up. ( source ) When we use the phrase today we generally mean that extreme flattery is used to gain information or favor. It's not always necessarily a compliment.
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