Not the kind of fighting, necessarily, that is divisive, damaging, and/or detrimental but the kind of fighting that each of us needs to stay in our relationships - be it the marriage one, the parenting one, or the friendships. We all need to have the fighting spirit in us to make sure our relationships stay current, that complacency doesn't infect them, that they remain healthy and maintained. I'm grateful for the fighting spirit that resides within me. Sometimes it is deeeeeep down and I have to really dig to find it but I always do and I'm grateful for the gift of the fighter in me because I want my relationships to thrive not just survive.
There are two probable origins for this idiom and I think both are equally plausible. The first one is that when you spread butter on bread you are buttering it up like one would do when trying to flatter someone. The second is in ancient India there was a practice of throwing balls of butter at statues to ask for favor, i.e. buttering them up. ( source ) When we use the phrase today we generally mean that extreme flattery is used to gain information or favor. It's not always necessarily a compliment.
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