Around the beginning of the 20th century this idiom, and its variations, started appearing in conversation and print. It's meaning is rather clear - even if I were dead I wouldn't be caught...engaging in that activity, wearing that item, doing that thing, saying that, engaging with that person, etc. (source)
There are two probable origins for this idiom and I think both are equally plausible. The first one is that when you spread butter on bread you are buttering it up like one would do when trying to flatter someone. The second is in ancient India there was a practice of throwing balls of butter at statues to ask for favor, i.e. buttering them up. ( source ) When we use the phrase today we generally mean that extreme flattery is used to gain information or favor. It's not always necessarily a compliment.
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