I'm grateful that I have been learning to say "no" in the past few years. And honestly, those in my day to day life should be grateful that I have also learned how to say "no." Learning to say "no" to some things and not "yes" to everything has done wonders for my sanity, for the sanity of my family (I think!), and for my overall health and well-being. Saying "yes" but then being resentful and bitter about it doesn't do anyone any good. But being honest and saying "no" and being free from guilt about saying "no" does a world of good. Sometimes I would say "yes" because I had a reputation of being everyone's "yes" person to uphold. Sometimes I would say "yes" because I was guilted into it by people who didn't really care about me, just about themselves. Sometimes I would say "yes" because certain circles of influence told me that it was the "right" thing to do. And then I got depressed. And that forced me to start saying "no", and then I learned how liberating saying "no" was when I actually meant "no"! And then I learned when to say "no" and when to say "yes". I don't always get it perfect but I'm miles further down the road than I used to be.
There are two probable origins for this idiom and I think both are equally plausible. The first one is that when you spread butter on bread you are buttering it up like one would do when trying to flatter someone. The second is in ancient India there was a practice of throwing balls of butter at statues to ask for favor, i.e. buttering them up. ( source ) When we use the phrase today we generally mean that extreme flattery is used to gain information or favor. It's not always necessarily a compliment.
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