Today I spent the day with a dear friend who is getting married in two weeks. We've been friends for 4 years, I think, and in that time I was honored enough to watch her and her fiance, who is also a good friend of mine, meet and fall in like and then love. I kinda sorta have a crush on them (don't worry, they know). So today I spent the day helping her and her man get all that is swirling in their brains about the wedding out onto paper so we can really get it organized. She's asked me to help behind the scenes the day of the wedding and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to serve her and her man in this way. I am grateful, in part, because I love doing behind the scenes work and I am decent at it so that seems to be helpful to people I am working on behalf of. :) I feel grateful to be of use to people in this way because even if I don't lift a physical finger I can be a good sounding board and I am able to follow the train of thought when it jumps from track to track. When people trust me to accomplish something on their behalf behind the scenes I always feel grateful for the chance to do it. I consider it an act of love, it's one way I show people how much I love them. (Gee, do you think that acts of service may be a love language of mine?! *wink*)
There are two probable origins for this idiom and I think both are equally plausible. The first one is that when you spread butter on bread you are buttering it up like one would do when trying to flatter someone. The second is in ancient India there was a practice of throwing balls of butter at statues to ask for favor, i.e. buttering them up. ( source ) When we use the phrase today we generally mean that extreme flattery is used to gain information or favor. It's not always necessarily a compliment.
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